#who secretly feels she’s done a terrible job of protecting the people she cares about her whole life

[soft-serve-soymilk]

More random head children musings (aside from the really sad one because that deserves better than a throwaway post):

Honestly I think it’s very fortunate that Dism’s team isn’t *entirely* comprised of lucid dreamers.

[br1ghtestlight]

Have you done Mr.Ambrose headcannon yet?

If not then...headcannons?

🏠 <- this is my home, I live in your asks

NO I HAVE NOT EVEN THOUGH HE IS MY FAVORITE GAY FREAK <\3

he is queer Definitely gay but he's flexible about women in the right situation?? borderline delusional and thinks every straight guy wants him SO BAD (nobody wants him except Me) also he's nonbinary and uses he/she/they pronouns but he doesnt really care he's ambivalent to gender he doesnt give a fuck what u call him

he is a drag queen and does performances at gay bars on the weekends and gets STUPID drunk after he performs. he is shockingly good at doing makeup and costuming. in a better world he wouldve done costumes and wardrobe in hollywood movies

he majored in english when he was in college bcuz he wanted to be either a screenwriter for hollywood movies (fun fact his voice actor directed and acted in a gay romcom and i think thats the kind of thing ambrose would pretend he's too cool for but secretly enjoy) or a novelist (he still writes in his free time) but neither of those worked out as actual jobs so he settled for elementary school librarian. even though he hates kids so much and isnt technically qualified but they were desperate when they hired him

he doesn't have a relationship with anyone in his family like if he died tomorrow everything he owned would go to his dog. his parents were just terrible shitty people and he doesn't get along with them at all refuses to attend family events if they're there. he doesn't talk to his extended family either but he's happier this way!!!! maybe he didnt have a great childhood its not like he would ever talk about it with anyone except for occasionally his roommate when they're up late and he gets very drunk

i also feel like he's either an only child or a younger brother who was always compared to his older sibling but no way his ass is an older sibling SORRY

his roommate is a lesbian and he's gay which is why they live together. no chance of catching feelings (this was agreed upon when they moved in together)

without a doubt he is a functioning alcoholic mostly bcuz he refuses to deal with any of his mental health problems or talk about them with anyone. its going great for him dw

sometimes he likes dressing up in feminine clothing and makeup just for fun and bcuz it makes him feel confident and its a different look than normal. he usually stays home and its just around his roommate but if he feels up to it he WILL be the sluttiest gay at the grocery store or dmv

his full name is william ambrose but he prefers people call him by his last name even outside of a school setting. i think william would be a traditional family name from his great great etc grandfather and he's like ughh im not going to carry the LEGACY of some random dead guy who doesn't even give a shit about me who do you think i am

he is definitely the type to watch shitty reality tv like the bachelor or love island and complain about how stupid everyone is being but also he LOVES the drama and watches every episode. he auditioned once for the gay version of the bachelor but they rejected him and he's still pissy about that if you bring it up

he claims he knows which students at wagstaff are going to grow up to be queer bcuz of his gaydar and he mostly says it to the other teachers in the teachers lounge as a joke but also he is slightly protective of them and won't take bullying from ANYONE if he hears them talking shit there will be an anonymous complaint to the principal. they are his little gay ducklings (gene would be in this category although he's slightly too annoying for ambrose to like him)

[asupernaturalgirl]

Carryin’ Our Child

Daryl x Reader

Request: Hiiii! Your writing is amazing, I recently found your blog and I’ve been obsessed! Could I please have a one shot with some extra protective Daryl because you both found out you are expecting a baby? The timeline could be S9/S10. Thank youuuu!

A/N: Confession, I haven’t watched past season 7 of The Walking Dead *shocked gasps*. I’m sorry. I attempted to write it from what I know on Season 9, but I’m very sorry if I got something wrong. I tried my best. I hope everyone enjoys this one. Very fluffy. 

Warnings: fluff, protective Daryl, pregnancy

Adjusting the old plates covered with only the crumbs of what was once a full plate of food on your hip, you opened the door from the jail cell that held Negan and walked into the light once again. One of the Alexandrians had asked you to bring him some food as they had been too busy to get it done. 

Before heading there, you had made sure Daryl wasn’t anywhere near you. He was so busy with trying to deal with the drama around Negan’s imprisonment as well as trying to build several pieces of infrastructure that you didn’t want to make him more anxious with something else. If he knew you’d gone to feed Negan, he would have lost his mind. 

You dropped off the extra plates at the kitchens and decided to go back to the house. Your head was beginning to ache and your stomach was starting to feel uneasy. You’d heard the pregnancy symptoms in the first trimester could be absolutely brutal and they were living up to the hype. You and Daryl had only told Rick, afraid that informing too many people could put you in an awkward position. Rick was ecstatic and gave you both as many tips as he could. 

You slowly walked towards the bathroom, taking your usual seat by the toilet that you’d grown so accustomed to. Everytime your stomach would lurch, you would lean over the bowl, trying to let it out so you could feel better, but it never came. Instead, you sat there in pain, wishing it would stop. 

Soon, the sound of the front door opening and closing shut echoed through the house. Daryl’s voice projected to the upstairs where you sat. “I’m home. Where are ya?”

“In the bathroom,” You answered quickly, leaning over once again. You felt absolutely pathetic when the drool began to pool in your mouth. 

Daryl clunked up the stairs, his footsteps letting you know he was getting closer. His eyes softened as he peeked in through the doorway. “Ya don’t feel good?” 

You shook your head, your body forcing you to gag once again. Your boyfriend quickly rushed forward, holding your hair out of your face as you finally let out the sick you’d been holding in. You sighed once you were finished, learning back against the man behind you. He rubbed your shoulders slightly. “Thank you.”

“You should be cursing me for doin’ this to ya.” 

You rolled your eyes and turned around. After finally getting everything out, you felt much better. “Well, I think having a child is worth being sick for a few weeks in the beginning.” 

He smiled. He joked that he ‘did this to you’ because he felt bad that he couldn’t take the pain from you, but in reality, he was excited. You’d never seen him so thrilled about something. He wanted to talk about it all the time and constantly thought of different names. He secretly wanted a daughter, although he would never tell anyone. 

“Can you help me to the bed?” You asked, using his strength to hoist yourself up. He assisted you in walking. You were weak after being sick and once you were in the bed, he brought you up some water as well. 

He laid down with you, pulling up your shirt so he could see your belly. Daryl gently ran his hand over your belly. “You be nice to your mom. She’s tryin’ her best.”

People who were only slightly familiar with Daryl would have never seen or even thought of him in this way. They would have likely imagined he would be a terrible father. You were so pleased that he loved the unborn child so much. It meant everything in the world. He kissed you softly as he laid back down beside you. “I feel like they’re gonna love you more than anything else.” 

He immediately shook his head at your comment. “They’re gonna love ya so much, ya can’t even imagine. I can tell. You’re gonna be the best mom in the whole world.”

His words warmed your heart. There were always doubts about the limitations of being parents in the world but you knew that if the child had the two of you, they would be just fine. You and Daryl would give parenting everything you had and it would pay off in the end, even if it was hard in the moment. 

“What did ya do today?” He questioned, unconsciously rubbing your pregnant belly, even if you weren’t showing yet. 

You had to come up with an excuse and quickly. The first thing that came to mind was a friend of both of yours. “Aaron needed some help with cleaning his arm up a bit. I went over there to give my assistance.” 

His brows furrowed and he nervously bit at his fingernails. “Michonne told me she saw you over by Negan’s cell.” 

Your heart dropped. You hadn’t thought that someone might have seen it and mentioned it casually to Daryl just out of habit. If you had told her to keep the secret, she definitely wouldn’t have told Daryl, but she had no idea. “Someone was busy and asked if I would bring food to him. Daryl, it was no big-”

He cut you off, immediately standing up with an angry expression on his face. He ran a hand through his tangled hair. You sat up quickly, leaning against the backboard. You hated making him feel this way. He was so inexperienced when it came to relationships and actually worrying about someone’s safety, you tried to live your life so he didn’t have to actually worry about it. 

“How could ya do this, Y/N?” He gestured wildly, his voice holding an annoyed tone. “Why would ya risk going in there?”

You stood as well, understanding now there might be an argument. “He’s not going to just attack me for no reason, Daryl. I was safe. I didn’t even step foot in the cell.” 

“He’s killed so many people. Do you think he wouldn’t kill ya?”

“I’m in my first trimester, Daryl. I can’t just sit in bed all day waiting for you to get home to do things for me. That would not only destroy my mental health, but my physical health as well.” 

He wasn’t sure what to say. You could nearly see all of the emotions in his eyes. Anger, concern, worry. He was feeling so conflicted, so absolutely broken inside. He wanted nothing more than for you to stay locked in a room all day so he could make sure you were safe, as impractical as it was. 

“I’m just askin’ that you try not to do anything dangerous, Y/N,” He began to calm slightly, holding your shoulders as he got closer to you. “You’re carryin’ our child in you right now. I just don’t want to have to worry all the time that you’re doin’ somethin’ reckless.”

You knew that this anger, this concern, came from a desire to protect you. His self-esteem was generally pretty low and one thing he actually felt he brought to the table was protection. He knew he was capable of protecting you and he would do it even if it took his own life. “I’ll try, Daryl. I know you just want myself and our baby to be safe.” 

He nodded, bringing you in for a tight hug. “I want to tell everyone. I don’t want people askin’ ya to do things. If they know you’re pregnant, they’ll be more careful with some of the jobs they give ya.”

At first, you were hesitant. You were enjoying the fact that this baby was a secret between you and Daryl. The more you thought about it, though, the more you realized it was probably a good idea. People would begin to either notice or assume soon if you didn’t tell them directly. You slowly nodded your head. 

“I agree, Daryl. It’s time to tell everyone.”

[hardcasey]

Sweet Tooth

Won't Fade into the Background - Part 2

Pairing: Toast x F!Reader

Summary: You are an owner of a bakery on Coruscant and end up running into a certain clone with a penchant for baked goods. 

Word Count: 7k (I got carried away lmao)

Rating/Warnings: T, Mostly fluff again, though it gets a little PG-13 at the end. Nothing too crazy tho.

A/N: Who’s more of a background clone than everyone’s fave boy Toast? I decided to give him the classic bakery au meet-cute that he deserves. <3 Not proofread so let me know if there are any glaring errors!

“You sure you don’t need any help cleaning up?” Your employee, Vella, called from the front of the shop. 

You poked your head out through the little window that separated the kitchen from the rest of the store. “I’m good, Vel. Go enjoy your Friday night.” 

“Alright, night boss,” The Twi’lek woman gave you a mock salute and laughed when she saw you roll your eyes before turning and heading out the door into the busy Coruscant streets. 

You turned back to your current task, taking inventory. It was not the most glamorous job, in fact it was your least favorite part about owning your own business, but it had to be done. With a sigh, you started counting, quickly losing yourself in the monotony. 

You were the proud owner of a small bakery on Coruscant. It was not the most lucrative job by far, but it had always been your dream to bake for a living, and you were proud to have achieved that goal so quickly. It had taken a lot of hard work to get to where you were now, along with quite a bit of luck. You had been finishing up your last year in culinary school when you walked by a place for rent right in the heart of the city. It had been right around when the war started, and the owner wanted to sell off the space as quickly as possible. You had the sneaking suspicion that he may have been involved with the Separatists and was trying to jump ship and flee the planet. Honestly, you didn’t really care what his deal was, only that he was giving you the place for a steal. Seppie or not, you were thankful for him. There was no other way you would have been able to afford a place in this part of the city otherwise. 

You had dropped a considerable portion of your savings into the purchase and renovation of the bakery, and there were times that you were subsisting off of nothing but cheap instant noodles, but everything had worked out in the end. The prime location meant there was a lot of foot traffic and it didn’t take long before you were turning a profit. And the quality of your pastries and baked goods earned you a loyal customer base, and you had many regulars that stopped in for a cup of caf and a little treat on their way to work. 

Once you finished up taking inventory, you headed out to the front to start cleaning up, stacking the chairs up on the tables so you could start sweeping. You were saving up for a droid that would sweep the floors for you, but you were still a ways off from that so you had to do it the old fashioned way. 

It was then that you noticed there was someone looking in through the window, clearly ogling the display of pastries and cakes that was there. The light from the setting sun pouring through the window cast their face in shadow, so you couldn’t tell who it was. 

Might as well invite them in, you thought to yourself as you leaned the broom against the wall. After all, the bakery wasn’t technically closed yet, though you almost never had customers at this time. 

You swung the door open and were about to say something to the figure when you saw them jump, clearly not realizing you were there. 

“Oh, hey, I’m sorry for scaring you! I just wanted to let you know that the bakery is still open if you want anything.” You said gently, holding your hands up in a placating manner. 

Now that you were outside, you could see the figure more clearly. They were a human male, with tan skin and warm brown eyes. He was wearing a grey uniform and his short dark hair was partly obscured by a matching grey hat. He seemed very familiar to you, and you were about to ask if you knew him, before it hit you. Duh! He was a clone. You weren’t used to seeing clones in anything other than their distinctive white armor, so it took a moment for your brain to put two and two together. 

“Oh, uh, I was just looking, ma’am! I’m very sorry.” He said quickly, the same way that a kid who had just been caught with their hand in the cookie jar would. He looked so sheepish, as if he was about to bolt any second. You weren’t sure why he was so apologetic, he was just looking through the window. A bunch of people did that. 

“No need to apologize, everyone looks through the windows.” You said, flashing him what you hoped was a reassuring smile. 

“I, uh, just wasn’t sure if you were gonna run me out or something,” he told you, averting his eyes and rubbing the back of his neck. 

“Why would I do that?” 

“Not many businesses are open to clones, and I wasn’t sure. I’ve never seen any clones in your shop and I guess I just assumed.” 

Okay, that lowkey made your blood boil. Why would anyone discriminate against the clones? They were the ones putting their lives on the line to protect the Republic, for kriffs sake! You hadn’t interacted with many clones, but the ones you had run into were nothing but polite and respectful. 

“That’s terrible! We absolutely allow clones here! You know what, come inside. There are still some pastries leftover from today. I’ll put them in a box for you and you can bring them back to your, er, squad? Company? Your friends!” You finished breathlessly, a little embarrassed you knew so little about anything involving the military. 

“Are you sure? I-I don’t have any money to pay for them,” He said sadly, his eyes darting down to his shoes as if there was suddenly something fascinating about them. 

“Nonsense! They’ll be going bad soon anyway and will just end up in the trash. You’ll be doing me a favor, honestly.” Without allowing him to protest further, you grabbed his elbow and tugged him into your shop. In the back of your mind you registered how big his bicep felt, which surprised you. He looked fit, yes, but it wasn’t like he was some meathead. Maybe his uniform just did a good job of disguising how strong he was. You felt yourself blush once you realised the path your thoughts had veered down and quickly pushed them out of your mind. 

“It smells good in here,” he said to no one in particular as he dropped his harm and headed behind the counter to start filling a box with leftover pastries. 

You smiled at him, before you realised something. “Forgive my manners, but I didn’t catch your name.” 

“CT-1928, ma’am.” He replied, his back straightening ever so slightly as he did, as if the action was ingrained in him.

“Do you have a nickname? I know a lot of clones go by them instead of their number.” You said delicately. You didn’t want to offend him by asking, but it felt so strange, so dehumanizing, to call him by a number. 

“Oh, uh, my brothers call me Toast.” He said, once again sheepishly rubbing the back of his neck. “It’s not the greatest nickname, but it’s the one that stuck.” 

“Haha, I think it’s cute. And don’t worry, my parents used to call me Possum when I was little, because I used to climb around and get into the trash. It was cute until they said it in front of my friends, then they started calling me that too.” 

He laughed at that, his shoulders relaxing, his posture not so stiff. “My brothers started calling me Toast because the first time they served toast in the cafeteria after I got my assignment, I ate so many pieces I made myself sick.” 

“Pfft. That’s amazing,” You laughed as you shuffled things around so you could fit one last croissant inside. You got the sense the clones didn’t often get to have sweets, so you were going to make sure Toast could bring as many back as possible. “So are you here on shore leave?” 

“I’m actually a member of the Coruscant Guard. So I’m here often. Well all the time. I walk by this place every time they send me off to run errands, which is often since I’m still the new guy.” 

“Oh, that’s cool. That means you work with senators, right? That must be… something.” You’d read stories on the holonet about some of the more notorious senators and you doubted they treated the clones particularly well. 

“I haven’t personally worked with any members of the senate, though a lot of my brothers have. Most of my day is spent staring at security cameras. So, pretty boring. Though I’m not complaining.” 

You tied up the package with a neat little bow before handing it to him, another bright smile flashing across your face. Something about his earnest, open demeanor was very endearing to you and you secretly hoped you’d get to see him again soon. If not anything else, you could at least learn a little more about the clones that dedicated their lives to protecting the Republic, since your knowledge on the subject was apparently so lacking. 

“Well it’s good to hear that you’re local. Hopefully you can stop by again the next time you’re running errands. And feel free to invite your brothers too!” 

“T-thank you, ma’am. That is very kind of you.” He said before taking the box of pastries in his hand, holding it almost reverently. He was trying to hide it but you could tell he was very excited to eat some sweets later. 

With one last nod he headed out of the store, the bell chiming lightly after him. You stood there, simply watching his receding form blend into the crowd, catching yourself smiling at the prospect of seeing him again. 

~~~

Toast hadn’t made it three steps into the barracks before his vode were descending upon him. Well not really him as much as the box full of sugary confections in his hands. 

“What ya got there?” Jek inquired, already tugging at the ribbon to investigate the box’s contents. 

Toast shoved his greedy hands out of the way and marched over to the counter where they kept the caf machine, which was in a perpetual state of disarray. The caf machine was old, probably older than any of them, and saw high traffic 24/7. Honestly, with the amount it leaked and sputtered, it was a miracle the machine was still functioning. Toast hoped it would at least until the war was over because when it went, Fox would be in the grave right next to it. 

“You know that bakery on the way back from the Jedi temple?” Toast inquired as he placed the box on the counter, starting to pick at the knot so he could open it without cutting the ribbon. It was a pretty striped pastel pink and he wanted to keep it. 

“The one with the little tooka-shaped cookies?” Rhys’ eyes went wide with excitement. 

“Yeah, the lady who worked there saw me looking inside and then gave me all the leftover pastries from the window.” 

“For free!?” Jek exclaimed as he shuffled back towards the box, “What did you get? Did you get an eclair? Please tell me you got an eclair.” Toast nodded and handed his brother one, who promptly dug in. 

“What’s this about eclairs?” Stone rounded the corner, instantly noticing the box and saddling up to him. “Did you get sweets?” 

Toast spent the next few minutes divvying up the various pastries between everyone. He chose something made up of many thin layers of dough, filled with chopped nuts and soaked in honey. Baklava, he thinks it was called, or maybe balaclava? He didn’t know the difference. But he didn’t care as he devoured it, savoring each bite like it was something precious. He glanced around and saw all his brothers were experiencing similar states of bliss, if their expressions were anything to go by. 

~~~

He didn’t have a chance to visit the bakery for the next two weeks, too busy running around dealing with mess after mess. One day, a prison riot. The next, bomb threats at the senate. Everyone in the guard was so exhausted and in desperate need of a break. So when Hound mentioned he was taking Grizzer for a walk, Toast decided to tag along so that he could get some fresh air. Well, fresh for Coruscant. 

At some point they’d run into Rhys and Thire, on the way back from patrol duty. Neither of them were in a rush to get back to HQ to receive new marching orders, so they ended up tagging along. 

Their little group wandered the streets, just walking with no direction in mind. Grizzer had his snout pressed close to the ground, desperate to sniff everything. Toast smiled at the massiff’s antics from behind his bucket, before glancing around and realizing they were just a block away from the bakery. 

“Hey, guys. Wanna stop at that bakery? It’s just over there.” Toast asked, pointing his finger at the little awning in front of the shop.

Thire looked at him as if he had two heads. “Why? Do you think we’ll get handouts again? Not that I’m complaining, free is free, but didn’t you get those because it was the end of the day and she was planning on throwing them out? It’s the middle of the day now…”

“Well, she said I could come back whenever. And that I could bring you guys too.” Toast felt his cheeks heat up for some reason, suddenly feeling embarrassed. What if she was just being polite, and he wasn’t really supposed to come back? What if he brought too many of his brothers and she thought he was taking advantage of her generosity? 

He was just about to suggest they should move on when Rhys piped up. “Well, what are we waiting for? C’mon.” He was already halfway to the bakery before anyone could respond. Rhys had a major sweet tooth and nothing motivated him more than some sweets. Hound and Grizzer were right on his heels, having missed out on the pastries last time. 

Toast caught up to them quickly, with Thire right behind them, though they all froze as soon as they made it up to the doors. There were people inside this, lounging around sipping drinks and chatting. Could they go in? Would people get mad? 

All his vode were waiting for him to do something, and his eyes searched frantically around the storefront as if he would find an answer there. And, surprisingly, he did. Sort of. Because hanging right in the window was a sign that read ‘CLONES WELCOME’. You had to have hung it after your interaction, there was no other explanation. Something about that made his heart race. 

All of a sudden, you appeared in the window, a friendly grin on your face as you pointed at the sign and waved for them all to come in. 

“You didn’t tell us she was pretty, vod,” Thire whispered as they shuffled their way inside. Toast could just feel the shit eating grin from under his brother’s bucket. He just gave a noncommittal grunt as a response, which only made Thire laugh. 

The group of them stood awkwardly in the threshold of the store, not really knowing what to do with themselves. A few patrons looked over to see what was going on, and Toast braced for some sort of outrage at clones invading their space, but after a few seconds they all turned back to whatever they were doing before. 

Toast stood there dumbly, just staring at you. He hadn’t really been able to take a good look at you the last time, too distracted by how strange the whole situation had been. But now he could see that Thire was right. You are pretty. Very pretty. 

If you noticed how tongue-tied he was, you didn’t show it. You just greeted them with another smile and oh Maker that smile. It was the kind of smile that lit up your whole face and Toast wanted to see it every day for the rest of his life.

“Hi! Is this your first time here?” You asked, cocking your head to one side. 

“He’s been here before.” Hound answered, shoving Toast to the front of the group. 

“Oh, are you the one from a few weeks ago? Toast?” 

You remembered his name! He was pretty sure he was about to melt into a puddle right then and there. It took a second to realize that he hadn't answered yet and he quickly sputtered out, “Y-yeah. That’s me.” 

“I’m glad you came back! And you brought your brothers,” You turned to address the rest of the clones and offered out a hand, “It’s nice to meet you all, what are your names.” 

Hound, always the people person and the one most used to interacting with the public, stepped forward and shook your hand. “I’m Hound. That’s Thire and Jek. It’s nice to meet you ma’am, I’ve heard you’re a great baker, though I wouldn’t know first-hand.” 

You cocked an eyebrow at Toast, “You didn’t share?” 

“He was out on patrol, I swear!” Toast stammered, holding his hands up in front of him. 

“Hmmm, I guess I’ll take your word for it. Though I think he should get to pick out what he wants first. It’s only fair.” 

“Really?!” Hound exclaimed. His enthusiasm seemed to rub off on Grizzer, the massiff sitting up on his back legs and wiggling excitedly before letting out a happy bark. “Down boy,” Hound ordered, placing a hand on Grizzer’s hand to calm him down. 

‘Awe, he’s just excited,” you giggled as you bent down to give him some pats of your own. “Can he eat treats? I have some by the door that I give to some of the other dogs.” You asked Hound as you straightened back up. 

“Yes, he loves treats. Would you mind if I took them to go? I don’t want him spoiling his dinner.” 

“Of course! Now pick out what you all want. And you can put a box together to take to your brothers.” 

You spent the next twenty minutes helping them pick out pastries, answering questions so they could pick out something for each of their brothers. After they had made their selections, you sat with them at one of the tables and chatted. Well, you mostly asked questions and they all talked over each other in their excitement. Still, you enjoyed the time with them, happy to provide a place for them to relax and unwind. Their jobs seemed incredibly stressful and by reading in between the lines of some of the things they told you, they seemed to be mistreated by a good portion of the senators, made to run menial errands or be the punching bags senators took their frustrations out on. You could especially see it in Toast, in the way he was so scared of offending you, how he would avert his eyes all the time and flinch if someone spoke too loudly. It honestly made you want to burn down the senate building. 

Everyone had finished eating when Thire looked down at his wrist and exclaimed, “Oh kriff, it’s been over an hour! Fox is gonna kill us.” 

Toast scoffed. “Correction: Fox is going to kill you and Rhys. Hound and I are off right now.” 

“Bring him an extra tiramisu to smooth things over.” You said, already wrapping one up and adding it to the rest of their haul. 

The group scrambled around, putting their buckets back on and grabbing the various pastry boxes you’d filled for them. Toast paused before turning to you. “Um, we don’t have any credits on us right now, but I can bring some tomorrow. The Guard has a small discretionary fund we can-”

You stopped him with a hand on his shoulder. “Don’t worry about it. It’s on the house.”

“A-are you sure? That was a lot of food…” Toast didn’t want her to lose money because of him. After all, he was the one that brought his brothers here. 

“It’s okay, seriously. I actually started a little program where customers can buy a coffee or a pastry or whatever for a clone. There’s actually a little bucket next to the register that I set up,” you turned and pointed at it so he could see. “It was actually my employee Vella’s idea. She came up with it the day after we first met, and it’s been pretty popular. There are a lot of people out there who are really thankful for what you guys do, you know.” 

Toast didn’t know what to say, but he felt like he wanted to cry at such a nice gesture. “That is… really kind of you. Thanks.” It didn’t feel like nearly enough, but they were the only words Toast could form at the moment. 

“Of course,” you said, giving his shoulder a little squeeze. “Now go catch up with your brothers, and let the rest of them know they’re always welcome to a free drink or pastry here.” 

Toast thanked you once again before heading outside to where his brothers were waiting, trying to convince himself that your hand hadn’t lingered on his arm for a beat too long. No, it was just wishful thinking. 

As he and his vode made their way back to the barracks, Rhys threw an arm around his neck and said, “Wow, Toast, your girlfriend is the best!” earning him snickers from the rest of the group. 

“She’s not my girlfriend!” Toast tried to protest. 

“But you want her to be~” Hound teased. And he was right, Toast wanted that more than anything in the galaxy right now. But he knew it was impossible. You were beautiful and kind and funny and perfect and he... was just a clone. 

“It’s not like it could ever happen anyway,” Toast sighed. 

Thire nudged him with his shoulder. “Psssh, we all saw how her hand lingered on you. She definitely likes you.” 

“Definitely,” Rhys echoed. 

Toast smiled under his bucket. It might be a pipe dream, but in that moment he allowed himself to indulge in the fantasy. 

~~~

In the following weeks, you fell into a sort of routine. Toast would stop by your bakery at least once a week, sometimes more depending on his free time. And you cherished every moment you got to spend with him. Sometimes he would bring fellow members of the guard along, and every visit ended with your stomach cramping from how much you’d laughed at their various antics. You were confused how such a chaotic bunch of individuals were able to come together as an effective police force… that is until you met Commander Fox. His talent for wrangling them deserved a medal in your opinion. 

As much as you enjoyed his brothers, you really looked forward to the times where you and Toast were alone together. He’d always come to you with some wild story of an eccentric prisoner or a crazy heist perpetrated in the lower levels. Honestly you hadn’t expected him to be such a gossip, but you were hardly complaining. 

In return for his stories you started teaching him how to bake. It started off with him just watching you work as he talked, sometimes asking questions about what you were doing or peaking over your shoulder to get a closer look. Eventually he became an assistant of sorts, spending his time grabbing ingredients for you and washing the dishes once you were done with them. 

Today was the day you were going to convince him to bake a loaf of bread with you. You were going to start him off with a simple loaf of white bread, one that didn’t require much kneading and didn’t have a long proving time. You had already pulled out all the ingredients, bowls, and utensils and were waiting patiently for him to arrive. 

By the time you heard the bell ring and saw him coming through the door, you were tapping your foot in anticipation. He wasn’t late - in fact he was right on time as always - but you were just itching to see him. 

“Toast! You’re here!” Ugh, that was the best greeting you could come up with? you cringed internally. Luckily, he didn’t seem to mind your banal greeting, a smile on his lips as he pulled his bucket over his head and placed it on a nearby shelf. You found yourself longing for a reality where he greeted you with a peck on the lips along with that sweet smile. Maker, you had it bad for him. 

His eyes flashed over to the ingredients on the counter. “What are you making today?”

“I’m not making anything today. But we are. I think it's time for you to try your hand at baking. And in honor of your love of toast, we’re starting off with bread.” 

He rolled his eyes at that, but the corner of his mouth still quirked up, showing off one of his dimples. “Isn’t bread kind of hard to make though? Maybe we should start out with something simpler…” 

“Where’s your courage, soldier?” you teased, poking a finger at his chest. He huffed and you laughed. “Now c’mon, wash your hands and get your apron on.” 

He ended up taking the top half of his armor off, in only his blacks from the waist up, his sleeve rolled up to his elbows. You were half thankful and half disappointed the apron covered the way his form fitting shirt stretched across his chest. At least you wouldn’t be distracted, but boy oh boy did you want a closer look. 

The two of you chatted about your days as you started working on each of your loaves. With so few ingredients the process went quick, and soon enough you were kneading the dough. 

“Now this is called the slap and fold technique. First get your dough together in a ball like this… and then you slap it down!” You demonstrated by taking your lump of wet dough and slapping it down on the table. “Then you just fold it in half and repeat. We need to do it for about five minutes.” 

“I think you mean we knead to do it for five minutes,” Toast said with a cheeky grin.

“Blegh. Terrible.” You flicked a bit of flour at him as punishment. “I think you knead to be locked up for that pun.” Toast just laughed and continued working, the smile on his face never dropping. 

Once you were ready, you shaped both of the loaves and put them in the oven. When you turned back to him you couldn’t help but giggle. He was absolutely covered in flour. 

“What? Do I have something on my face?” He asked, face suddenly becoming serious. 

You stepped close to him and brushed his face clean with your thumb. “On your face, in your hair, on your shirt. I think you managed to get flour everywhere except the apron.”

“Well you were the one throwing it at me!” came his retort as he used his hands to shake his hair out, turning it from  grey back to its lovely dark color. 

“Touché. Now let me help you get cleaned up. I think you got some on your back. Somehow.” You grabbed a washcloth and wet it under the sink and started using it to wipe the flour off his clothes.  

“It’s one of my many skills from cadet training.” He told you, eyes twinkling, as you dabbed at a spot you missed on his face. You could feel his lips moving as he spoke. Stop thinking about how soft they probably are, you chided yourself. 

“You’re just lucky you’re so charming.” 

That made him blush and avert his eyes, which would have been cute if you weren’t worried you’d gone a bit too far. You didn’t want to embarrass him or anything. You had thought the two of you were flirting, but maybe you read the situation wrong. You were notoriously bad in the romance department, something Vella had told you after the third time you had missed a customer trying to flirt with you. 

Toast cleared his throat before turning back to you. He noticed you’d stepped back away from him and sighed internally. That would have been the perfect time to kiss you or ask you out or something. Anything other than dancing around each other like you two were doing now. Despite the fact that his brothers believed you two were already together - no matter how much he protested - he still wasn’t sure if you felt the same as he did. He had his suspicions, but what if he was wrong? You were his only friend outside of his brothers and he didn’t want to do anything to mess that up or make it awkward. 

He thanked the Maker you didn’t tease him, just turning and starting to wash the dishes. He grabbed a bowl and joined you at the big industrial sink, dunking his hands in the warm sudsy mixture and used the sponge to start scrubbing at the stubborn bits of dough that refused to come off. The two of you worked in silence, though not an uncomfortable one, Toast was glad to find. Just as he was finishing drying the last bowl, he remembered something. 

“Oh, uh, I almost forgot. Do you know Senator Amidala?” 

“Not personally, but I’ve heard of her.”

“Well, she is throwing a banquet or something in a few days and the bakery that was supposed to handle the desserts fell through at the last minute. Thorn suggested you as a replacement and asked me to ask you if it was possible.” 

“Hmm. It depends on how long I’d have, and what kind of desserts she wants. Plus how many guests she’s having. I’m not saying no, but I’m not sure how realistic it is. It’s just me, Vella, and two others on staff.” You had started pacing, already running the logistics through your head.

“What if me and the rest of the guard helped you?” 

You paused your pacing to look at him. “That could work… but would you all even be able to take off work?”

“Well, it’s been pretty slow this week and we’re spending most of our time getting ready for the party…” You responded with a noncommittal hum so he pressed on. “How about I call Senator Amidala and Commander Fox on the coms and we can get everything worked out?”

“Yeah, sure. That’d be great.” 

For the next twenty minutes you hashed out the details with Senator Amidala - Padmé, she insisted you call her - and Commander Fox. Eventually you settled on an order of one large, four-tiered cake and a hundred little fruit tarts. Fox had been hesitant to lend out his troopers until Padmé had offered to replace the old coffee machine in the guard’s office. The party was in three days, so it would be a tight deadline, but you were sure you could do it. Especially with the guard’s help. There was also the motivating factor of the hefty payment Padmé was offering. It would be enough for you to buy an army of cleaning robots!

As soon as you hung up you were already placing an order of the ingredients and messaging your employees to tell them about the job. You were so focused on your task that you jumped with the oven’s timer dinged. Toast stifled a chuckle behind his hand and you shot him a look as you pulled both loaves of bread out of the oven. Both loaves were a perfect golden brown and looked absolutely delicious. 

Toast hovered over your shoulder as you placed the bread on the cooling rack, and you had to slap his hand away a few times as you waited for them to cool. Once you could hold them safely in your hands, you handed Toast his loaf and took yours in your hands. “C’mon, let’s take a picture together with our bread.” You tucked yourself into his side and held your loaf up as he snapped the picture. 

Once you were satisfied with the picture you relented to his puppy-dog eyes and cut into the bread. You both slathered a piece in butter and tapped them together as if they were wine glasses before taking a bite. 

“Mmmmmhhh,” you both groaned in unison at the first bite of warm bread. There was nothing better. 

“This is so good.” You mumbled in between bites. 

“So much better than anything in the caf.” Toast agreed, his eyes half-closed in bliss. Before you missed it, you snapped a picture. Toast with his toast. It was perfect. 

~~~

You stared at the sight of the twenty clone troopers in front of you, decked out in aprons and hair nets, standing at parade rest in a line as Commander Fox, also in an apron, paced back and forth, hands behind his back, as he gave them their orders. 

“Now I want you all on your best behavior. It may seem like you’re on a break, but I want you to treat this as if you’re still on the clock,” He stopped pacing and turned to his men, “Do I make myself clear?” 

“Yes, sir!” They all responded with a salute. 

You took that moment to snap a picture of them all, Fox’s head snapping towards you at the click of the camera. “I want to remember this,” you told him, fighting back a smile. 

You turned to Padmé, who had insisted on coming to help out herself, bringing along her two droids and a Jedi to offer some extra hands. She came complete with a chic outfit for the occasion and you envied how good she looked at six in the morning. You showed her the picture and she asked, “Can you send that to me?” Fox huffed loudly and the two of you broke out into a fit of giggles. 

Once you got a hold of yourself you started listing out tasks that needed to be done to Fox. “We’ll need people to clean and cut the fruit for the tarts. Another group can help with mixing and cutting the crust. For the cake, we’ll also need one group handling the batter, and another the frosting and decorations. And we can rotate who is on dish duty.” 

Fox immediately started delegating out tasks to his troops and you assigned a member of your staff to help each group. Everyone quickly scrambled to start working on their tasks, the troopers clearly very excited to help. 

Throughout the day you flitted from group to group, demonstrating how to do things when needed. Your employees were handling everything so well and you made a reminder to yourself to give them a nice bonus after this. You stepped away from where Vella was showing the boys how to make flowers out of frosting and found Toast lecturing his brothers about the right way to measure flour. 

“You can’t just scoop it out straight from the bag, you’ll use too much that way. You have to sift it in like this,” He started demonstrating the proper technique for them, and you noticed he had somehow managed to get flour all over himself again. 

“Good job, Toast,” You said as you passed him, brushing the flour out of his hair as you went. “Keep up the great work, boys!” You gave them a thumbs up and moved onto the next group, dodging the R2 unit as it made a beeline to the fridge, a tray of freshly cut fruit balanced on its head. 

The next two days passed by smoother than you could have hoped. There were only a few minor incidents. Hound tripping over R2 and spilling some batter, Thorn having to scold Jek and Rhys for eating half of their frosting. Nothing you couldn't handle. Commander Fox had everyone working like a well oiled machine, making sure everything stayed on time. Throughout both days, Padmé’s protocol droid busied himself with taking pictures of the event, and Padmé promised to send them all to you after the party.

It got down to the wire, but you managed to put the last slice of jogan fruit on the hundredth tart with forty-five minutes to spare. Your employees handled loading everything up into the speeder to take them to the venue. You watched them out of the corner of your eye to make sure things went smoothly. Padmé came up to you and thanked you profusely for rushing such a huge order and promised to promote your business to all her friends before she and the rest of her entourage hopped into the speeder with your employees and took off for the party. 

You turned back to the clone troopers, who had already finished washing up most of the kitchen. “Don’t worry about the rest, guys, I’ve got it. You should probably start heading back and start getting ready.” 

“Trying to kick us out so soon?” Fox mused. 

You laughed. “Actually, before you go, I have a little surprise for you all. As a way to say thank you and as a pick me up before the party. I know those things can be tiring.” You went and retrieved the gift you had stayed up all last night working on, keeping it behind your back until you were right in front of them. 

You held out a plate of cookies shaped like their helmets, each one customized to look like the helmet of each of the troopers there. You had recruited C3-PO to take reference pictures of all of their helmets while they were working, and the droid had really pulled through for you, even managing to get detail shots for you. 

“Woah, are these our helmets?” Stone asked as you handed him his cookie. 

“Look, it’s me.” Thorn said to Fox as he waggled his cookie in front of his brother’s face. Fox rolled his eyes but even he couldn’t fight his smile away. 

You beamed as each of the troopers examined their cookies and thanked you for them. They all groaned as you forced them to get together for one last picture and the shutter had barely flashed before they were scarfing down the cookies. 

Once they were done, Fox and Thorn started hoarding the group through the door. Before Toast could follow his brothers, Fox turned to him, “You stay here and help out with the rest of the clean up.” 

Toast blinked for a moment before he responded with a “Yes, sir.” 

He waited until he was sure the last of his vode were out the door before he turned to you. He planned on saying something funny or romantic, but all his words failed him as you launched yourself at him and pulled him into a big hug. “Thanks for all your help. I couldn’t have done this without you.” You told him, your voice muffled from your spot pressed against his chest. He returned the hug and rested his cheek against the top of your head. 

You couldn’t be sure if it was him who tilted his head down or you who tilted your head up, but you soon found yourselves nose to nose. Maybe sleep deprivation lowered your inhibitions, because you soon found yourself raising up on your tiptoes and pressing your lips to his. His arms tightened around you as he returned the kiss, letting out a groan as you both melted into each other. It started off sweet and gentle, but quickly developed into something more heated as you swept your tongue across the seam of his lips. He let out another tortured whine as he opened his mouth up to you, pulling you flush against him with one hand falling down to grab your ass while the other hitched your leg over his hip. 

Eventually you needed to come up for air and reluctantly parted from him, a blush rising to your cheeks as the string of saliva that connected you broke and dribbled down your chin. He wiped it away with his thumb before bringing his forehead to rest against yours. The two of you stayed like that for a while, gazing into each other's eyes as you caught your breath. 

You brought up one of your hands to brush a bit of flour out of his eyebrow. “You managed to get flour on you somehow. I don’t think we even used flour today.” 

He grinned at you. “It’s one of my many charms.” 

You giggled and pulled him back in for another kiss. Your lips had just met when you heard a camera shutter go off and you both whipped your heads around to the source of the noise. 

Vella stood in the doorway to the kitchen, camera raised and a shit-eating grin on her face. “Haha, I knew it! Thire owes me ten credits!” 

Both of you blinked at each other for a moment before joining in with her laughter.

[tunedtostatic]

Iris 2 crew at Pride on a planet

• It’s Pride month and (Krejjh voice) I am feeling FESTIVE, so, Iris 2 crew at Pride: the highs, the lows, the fundraiser coffee

• Violet hasn’t had a chance to go to a Pride parade/festival often. She loves spending the day getting to feel like she can truly relax and be herself, surrounded by other queer people and their loved ones, having spent so many years dealing with nebulous biphobia at school and work.

• She buys little bi flag earrings from a craft booth and wears them all afternoon.

• Krejjh is overjoyed for all the humans here who are having the chance to support each other and take pride in identities outside the gender binary. They secretly feel a little weird since they themself grew up without a gender binary, and so not fitting in one isn’t a part of their identity that felt significant or caused problems for them until they came to live among humans and suddenly it did. But it makes them feel safe and happy to be among so many humans who aren’t within the gender binary either.

• They’re also enjoying the preponderance of glitter.

• Brian has to intervene when Violet buys a little pack of biodegradable glitter and Arkady dares them to eat some of it.

• Sana wears streaks of temporary hair dye, a sparkly shirt, and a giant shoulder bag full of water bottles, bandaids, snacks even though there are plenty of places to buy food, sun visors, and sunscreen. She and Violet make sure everyone reapplies sunscreen every few hours.

• Arkady and RJ are both a little on edge, not fully turning off their protective instincts toward the rest of the crew. Even here, surrounded by a multitude of other queer people, Arkady can feel her heart racing just a little when she takes Violet’s hand in public. It isn’t like she can’t take care of herself if someone starts shit with them one-on-one, but she’s holding Violet’s hand and what if that means she’s putting Violet at risk and...

• As the day goes on, Arkady relaxes a little and starts to enjoy herself more. Near the end of the day, when everyone is happy and sticky with sweat and sunscreen, she has a semi-accidental heartfelt conversation with RJ when they get stuck in line together waiting for the toilets about how hard it is to let their guards down and truly believe that it’s statistically likely this event will stay safe and no one will attack the participants.

• Arkady might not be completely relaxed herself, but she loves watching Violet relaxing and enjoying herself.

• Violet buys a purple flower from a stall and threads it into Arkady’s hair for a lesbian history/ace pride purple/horrible Violet’s-name pun triple reference, causing Arkady to lose the ability to form sentences (and to be distracted from her fears) for a good thirty seconds. She wears it for the rest of the day and when they get back to the ship she secretly finds a book to press it in.

• Violet doesn’t try to stop Arkady from being worried or protective. Instead, she focuses on enjoying herself and having all the moments with Arkady that she wants to have, from buying her the flower to getting ice cream for both of them. She knows from her own anxiety disorder that telling someone to “calm down” or trying to make them relax isn’t helpful, especially when there’s a piece of truth in their fears (Sana may also have tracked her down the day before to talk about what is and isn’t helpful when Arkady is afraid something bad will happen).

• Park buys so many cups of coffee from the coffee booth that he might be single-handedly funding the queer youth programs they’re raising money for.

• No one has any idea if he’s queer or just here as part of the crew. He’s clearly enjoying sipping coffee and lurking comfortingly next to McCabe.

• Just as Arkady is starting to relax, a cute transport starship pilot also wearing a sparkly outfit starts flirting with Sana, and Arkady slips into security officer mode, lurking around trying to determine whether they’re secretly a threat of the good old-fashioned smuggling underworld variety, until Violet drags her away to look at the art vendors and leave Sana to flirt in peace.

• The planet they’re on has done a solid job of holding an accessible event, and there are enough rest areas and seating on the parade route and between the spot where the crew watches the parade and the park/food area that Brian doesn’t have to walk prohibitively far.

• He runs into another linguist he went to undergrad with who is there with eir partner; the partner and the Iris crew are stuck chatting with each other while Brian and his friend have an animated conversation about...no one is exactly sure what, but it definitely has something to do with “poststructuralism in queer exolinguistics.”

• The crew loses track of Krejjh briefly after they peel off to buy donuts for a suspiciously long time and then don’t answer their comm (it turns out they were mid-transaction buying a surprise for Brian). Sana decides that the best course of action is for herself and Arkady to hoist Violet up between them so that she can see over the crowd, an endeavor that unsurprisingly doesn’t actually locate Krejjh but does give Violet a great panorama view of the festivities. Park stands by sipping coffee, Brian makes suggestions for things he thinks Violet ought to yell to get Krejjh’s attention in the style of the classic lost in a crowd meme (“SH’TH HREMREH IS TERRIBLE!”), and RJ tries desperately to pretend they don’t know any of them.

[elphiej]

Be My Light: Prologue

*Pairing: Yoonig X Reader, possible OT7 X Reader (Undecided)

*Genre: Mafia, angst, eventual smut, slow burn

*Warnings: N/A (Yet)

*Summary: In the city of Central, a dark shadow rises as an evil from their past threatens to destroy the members of Bangtan and seize control of the city. While struggling against the rival gangs, as well as their own inner turmoils, they find their journey intertwined with a girl who’s past is a mystery, even to herself. She is lost and broken, but finds she has little choice but to trust the gang members as she becomes a target of the rival gang and drug lords. As they protect their new charge, the boys start to feel things they haven’t thought they would ever have. Can she help them fight against the shadows of their past? Can she melt the cold persona of Bangtan’s second in command? Can they be a beacon for her in own darkness? And can they help her unlock the secrets of her past and help her find her inner strength? 

(I’m terrible at writing summaries. Please let me know what you think)

              Be My Light 

               The last few stars in twilight sky illuminates the chrome skyline, barely a soul was awake, as a black SUV pulled up to the curb by a half-constructed office space in the lower part of the City. Hardly anyone who lived in the massive metropolis was about at such an early hour. Especially in this lower section of Central City, where it was mostly cheap apartments, shops, and construction. Central City- barely anyone remembered its true name after the ‘First’ Gangs bestowed the code name upon the citizens. The driver gazed across the empty street to the massive skeleton of a building that loomed in the fading twilight, not liking the ominous feeling that radiated from it like heat from the car’s air conditioner.  Nothing about this seemed right and his anxiety settled deep within his gut. This was not the usual drop zone and too far from their own territory. The construction cranes and bulldozers that were deadly still, like a warning, loomed about the shell of the shopping center the civil government thought would bring some life and safety back to this part of the city. The massive, five story building had too many unknown factors for him; there were too many places to hide, too many shadows, too many things to use against them should things go south. He sank lower into the driver seat, anxiety settling like a stone in his gut. It didn’t matter how many of these drops he had done or how many times he had seen things go one way or the other, he still got nervous. He turned his attention to the other member in the car, trying to distract himself.

               In the passenger seat, seemingly asleep and unbothered, was a young man who was older in years but shorter in stature than the driver.  He had pale skin and platinum blonde hair, dressed up in a simple black shirt and ripped black jeans, with a blood red, long hooded coat, that gave him a vampiric or bringer of death vibe. Fitting for what may happen, the driver thought. His arms were crossed against his chest and his head was leaning against the window. The eldest had been in the same position since they had left their garage a few hours ago. He seemed almost calm, which the younger allotted to his hyung’s experience with the rival gang.  However, quite the opposite was the presence in the back, who had stretched himself to lounge on the back seat. There laid an angelic youth with golden, wavy hair and a mischievous glint in his eyes. He was yin and yang personified to those who had seen him in action. The angel had his phone above his face, tapping furiously in a game, the light illuminating his innocent features and smile. The driver knew that once they entered the building that the innocent look would change to something scary once they entered the building. If looks could kill, the driver trailed off. Having both his hyungs with him and both seeming calm should help put him at ease. It was a good team they had in the car and had done much harder things before. But he still couldn’t shake the feeling of dread that loomed over him.

               “Hyung,” he said, softy, looking at the sleeping passenger. The other seemed dead to the world, so he repeated himself louder. Only when the other made a noise of acknowledgment did he continue. “Are we sure this is the place?”

               The passenger opened his dark eyes and looked across the driver to the construction site. His eyes moved to out his own window before nodding. The angel stopped playing his game and sat up longer enough to confirm with this companion. It wasn’t quite the reassurance the younger man was hoping to get.

               “Hyung, I don’t like this” he said. “This doesn’t feel right. We’re doing a drop, right? This isn’t hallowed ground. It’s a half-constructed building that none of us have any knowledge of. This can’t be the site.”

               “This is where RM said to go. This is the place the asshole wanted to do this. Said they feel safer here,” the passenger said, his voice low and rough from being woken.

               The angel leaned forward between the two of them, thumbs still moving quickly across the screen. “Those guys are just scared,” he said, his voice as light and airy as his appearance. “They keep losing men because they don’t train them right. Once their boss disappeared, they can barely keep their heads above water. They think being on their turf will scare us or something. Think we’re more likely to agree in order not to cause any trouble. That we’ll be too cautious to draw any blood.” His eyes shifted to the driver, and the devil within shone through for a moment. “Not like that would stop us, right Jungkook-ah?”

               “Ease the blood-shed, Jiminie,” the eldest warned. “This is just an exchange. We get in and get out. They promised a standoff, no weapons. So we should oblige the goons.”

               “Then why do we have a weapon stash with us” Jungkook asked with a playful, knowing smile.

               “Because we’re not stupid. Ji may have been bound by the Accords, but he was still a deceitful fuck, played by whatever rule got him to where he was. And he taught his dongsaengs to do the same. Now that he’s disappeared, they’ve gotten more chaotic. Look what happened to Hoseok last month when they jumped him in the middle of the street. They’re getting messy. We’re lucky Moonbyul and some X-ers were in the area, else Hobi and some civilians would have been worse off.”

               “Come on, Hyung. Are you tell us that if Choi’s in there, you’re not gonna give him a couple more bruises to match the old ones? I’m sure he’d like a matching set,” Jimin said leaning back in his seat.

               “We’re not gonna stoop to their level. We’ll show them how to act. But,” he reached into his pocket and pulled out a switch blade, and smiled, “if he is there and wants to start shit with me, I’ll be happy to give him a scar like he tried to give Hobi.”

               Jimin and Jungkook looked at each other, grinning. Within their own group, they were all remarkably close, basically family. They all looked out for and took care of each other. But their Yoongi-hyung was even more protective of his younger brothers, always secretly doing things for them when they least expected it. On the outside, he was hard, quiet, and calculating. But on the side, they knew he was softy (though they dare not say that in his presence).

               Yoongi slipped the knife back into his red trench coat’s inner pocket and checked his watch. It was not quite time to meet with the Royals, though they knew them better as Goons or Jackasses. But it was time to check in with their secret surveillance. He pulled out his phone and made a call. Ringing filled the silent car through the speakers. It did not take long before the ring stopped, and deep voice replaced it.

               “Hyung,” it whined, “you finally call! I’ve been freezing out here since sundown, watching this damn building. I’m cold and lonely!”

               “Lonely my ass, Taehyung. You’ve been texting Jimin since you got there and playing that damn mobile game since two. You do realize you’re supposed to be look out. Or do I need to find someone who actually care about our safety to replace you next time?”

               “What? Hyung, no! I’ve been doing my job, I swear,” Taehyung said frantically, his voice wavering as if he was about to cry. “I can multi-task, I swear. We’ve only played a couple rounds, I promise. Please, Hyung, have mercy on me! You know I don’t like being alone. Please don’…,” his voice trailed off.

               Jimin grabbed the phone from Yoongi. “Taehyung-ah, it’s okay. Yoongi-Hyung is just kidding. He’s smiling, really.”

               “If that’s what you want to call it,” Jungkook laughed.

               As quickly as Taehyung’s sobbing began, it just as quickly turned into a deep laugh. “I know. I can hear it in his voice. Not nice, Yoongi-shi. We really need to work on your people skills”

               “Anyways, what is happening out there?” Yoongi loomed forward to look out the windshield to the building across from the meeting place. A top the highest building, he could just make out the body sitting there. Had he not known what he was looking for, or had an idea where Taehyung had positioned himself, he would have missed him. The lookout had positioned himself across from the back of the building where the Goons would be entering at, in order to stay a few steps ahead of them.

               “Barely anything has happened since I got here. Once the sun went down, all the people cleared the street. It’s been quite here. The civilians are probably worried about the Goons’ new recruits causing trouble at night. Only three cars have come down this way. And you’re number three. There’s some more construction to the west, some little family shops and alleys to the east, and a couple apartment housings to the north of here. So the civilians are safe from the cross-fire, if there is any.” He stopped talking for a sec, only to let out a loud, triumphant ‘yah’. “Got you, Jimin. That’s for cheating last round. I win! You owe me some honey rice cakes.” Said cheater threw his phone on the back seat with a growl, which only made Taehyung laugh more.

               Yoongi rolled his eyes and sighed deeply. “Why did I not ask Jin-Hyung to come with me?”

               “Because Jin-Hyung is taking care of Hoseok-Hyung. And RM-Hyung is trading that ‘equipment’ we picked up with Solar’s crew for some more fire power,” Jimin explained, leaning forward to rest his chin on Yoongi’s shoulder. “Besides, we’re the dream team right here. Taehyung’s a great lookout with his attention to details. And he’s a strong back up in a brawl. Jungkook’s the most daring getaway driver, next to Jin-Hyung, and is the muscle. And you and I are the best shots. How can you top that?”

               Yoongi shrugged Jimin off him. “Fine, but stay focused. No more games, you two.”

               Taehyung chuckled deeply. “Ok, Grandpa. I promise.”

               From his place atop the building, Taehyung smiled down at the SUV. After so many hours of nothing happening, their reunion had woken him up and gave him some much-needed energy. He listened as Jungkook started asking Jimin about the game, and Yoongi grumbling every now and again. He stretched his long arms up, and checked on the screens in front of him. The time of the drop was approaching but there had been no activity in the building across from him. He and Jimin had snuck into the building a few days earlier and placed some hidden cameras all over. He tapped a few buttons on his screen, switching from floor to floor, his eyes taking in every detail. No change. The building was just as empty as it was when he first got there. He checked the time in the lower corner of his screen; it was only a few minutes before the appointed time and still no sign of the enemy. If there was one thing Taehyung liked about the absent head of the rival gang was his attention to time and arriving to an appointment early. Time was everything and, without him, they lacked it

               You’ve got shit timing, a voice echoed from the farthest reaches of his mind.

               His fingers froze on the keyboard. Why was that making an appearance? That deep, sinister voice had been lurking on the edge of his attention ever since Hoseok was jumped. His hyung didn’t remember most of that attack, let alone who was the spearhead. He recalled being jumped from behind by some lower level recruits that he may have recognized, and that he dealt with a few of them before they pinned him on his knees. And he remembered a pair of expensive, designer shoes coming into his line of vison before a cane cracked him in the face. Moonbyul, a member of the Mama gang from the Northern side of town, had been one of the first to come to his aid. Taehyung had only met her once but remember that she was a strong and intimidating, and a fierce fighter. Joohyun and Shownu of the X-ers he knew better from all their gangs’ interactions. They had been looking for a good restaurant when they heard the commotion and sprang to help. Joohyun swore that he saw the elusive Choi there in fray, yet neither Moonbyul or Shownu were sure if he was there or not. Choi had always been like a shadow, appearing and disappearing when he pleased. No one had heard of his actions for almost four years. And, in the two-year absence his leader, Ji, no one was quite sure who had taken over as temporary leader. There had been clues that Choi could have returned to take over; he was the oldest member of the generals, had been a right hand man for Ji, and was more secretive of his doings then some of the other Generals would have been. The idea of Choi being back in Central made Taehyung anxious; old, painful memories had started to resurface. Things that Taehyung had worked through and had lapsed into a comfortable mindset when they thought that bastard had disappeared. Just the thought that Choi may be back made him wonder if that meant Ji was back too and what that may do to his members.

               Taehyung didn’t have much time to dwell as movement from one of the cameras caught his attention. He clicked into the camera that was stationed on the opposite side of the construction site, where the back-loading docks were to see three black Royces with their lights off came to a stop. Here we go, he thought as pulled a folded bandana from his jacket and slipped it up under his dyed gray locks.  Zooming in, he saw a few Royal members that he recognized from past fights. Some were boxers and a few MMA fighters, but they were slower than his trim and light members. The rest looked new, young and jittery. Maybe just a training run, Taehyung thought. It wouldn’t be out of place. RM and Jin had taken him on drops and exchanges when he first joined.  Altogether, there were twelve Royal members. That alone made Taehyung nervous; there were too many factors playing out in his head. He knew that between himself, Jimin, Jungkook, and Yoongi, they could deal with them if they decided to do something stupid. One member Taehyung, Chen, knew well enough from their encounters was a high-ranking member and was normally the leader of the squad. He was slightly decent about following the Accords. Maybe this will go fine.

               That was, until he watched Chen go to the third Rolls Royce and opened the back door.

               The first thing that came into view was a pair of expensive, silver dress shoes. Then a matching ornate cane. Taehyung could feel his breath catching in his throat. Out of the car, dressed in a light colored three-piece suit with a white fur coat draped over his broad shoulders, stepped Choi. His gloved hand ran through his quaffed frosted hair as he gave instructions to his minions. The little smirk that appeared through the computer screen was all it took for Taehyung’s mind to instantly transport him back to the worst night of his entire life. He could feel those gloved hands on his neck and shoulder while Choi’s companion laughed like a crazed child behind him. That sadistic smile was one of the last things he remembered seeing before he was shoved deep into the freezing darkness.

               Here’s your punishment for your disrespect. Do me a favor and don’t die too quick. My brother wants his turn to play with you. Now, deep breath, Choi breathed in his ear.  

                    His heart started to beat harder and panic began to grip hold of him. He didn’t want to think about it, not now. He thought he was past all this. But, with the chances of seeing the general who tormented him, only made his breath check in his throat. Get a grip, he mentally screamed, get over it. Don’t let him win! But all he could focus of was the wet, chill creeping up from his toes, his lungs restricting, the muted sounds in his ears…He gripped his phone like a life-line, running through what his team taught him when he got like this. Taehyung closed his eyes and tried to count. He tried to focus on a happier memory, but the onslaught of panic surged onward. He tried to force himself to take an unsteady breath, shaking his dyed gray locks from his sweaty face. Focus, breath. He kept repeating it. But his lungs felt like they were in a vice, like they were filling up with ice cold fear. There were hands gripping him, dragging him deeper into the dark memory. And he felt like he was swimming against a current. It wasn’t until Jimin’s voice seemed to cut through the rushing in his ears that he felt he had a lifeline. Where his silence may not have seemed like anything to the others at that moment, Jimin seemed to sense the change, even without seeing him. Taehyung clung to his best friend’s words and took a shaky breath into his burning lungs. Then, another and another. Just like he did when this same nightmare plagued him for an entire year. And as quickly as it came on, the dark hands pulled back into the deepest part of his memory.

               Jimin called out to him again as his eyes opened, and Jungkook’s followed asking if everything was alright. Tae let his eyes fall on his computer screen to ground himself back into his reality. Everything is fine. Focus on the screens. There were only two men by the cars now, blocking the loading dock from any surprise attack. Where did the others go? Tapping quickly on the keyboard, he cycled through the different cameras. The ground floor was only occupied by the large support beams and boxes of different building material. The second floor had empty shells for stores. The third and fourth were much of the same, with only scaffolding, tools, and more large boxes. The fifth floor was were the designer had wanted to put an event hall based on the layout; wide open with decorative columns lining the middle of the space, windows that looked out to the distant skyline of the city, and a marble floor that hadn’t been finished yet. Like the other floors, metal scaffolding and work tables littered the area, and unpacked crates and such were dispersed. At the edge of the camera Taehyung had placed by the entrance, he finally spotted Choi and the rest of the goons. As his eyes darted about the screen, taking in every detail he needed, he sat a bit straighter and shifted from the playful Tae into a different being. Now in the position of lookout and back gunner was V.

               “Tae, you ok up there? You’re too quiet. I think Jimin’s about to scale this building to check on you,” Yoongi’s voice rang through the phone, behind it was Jimin’s quite voice asking the same.

               “Suga-Hyung,” V voice was much deeper and serious than Taehyung’s, signaling to the car that something was up, “They’re here. Three cars at the back-loading dock. Two men stayed with the cars. There are thirteen in total.”

               “That’s more than normal for a drop like this,” Jungkook wearily said.

               “Hyung,” V continued, “Choi is with them.”

               From his place in the car, Yoongi nodded silently. That was all the info he needed to know that this wouldn’t be a normal interaction like they had hoped. The confirmation that Choi was, indeed, back in the picture meant that the game was about to be much more dangerous. He looked across to his younger friends, knowing from the look on their faces that they understood that too.

               “Where are they V-shi?”

               “Choi and the others are in the fifth-floor hall like they said. Their situated in the back of the room. Take the elevator on the ground floor and it’ll open into the space. There’s enough room to keep some distance between you guys and there are enough obstacles, in case. I can’t see from this angle if they’re true to their word about the weapons but there’s a couple boxes I didn’t see when I set up.”

               “Good job, V,” Yoongi said. “Once we get into the building, make your way down and to the back. Pay the two lookouts a visit. Then, keep low in case we need you. I’ll have the in-ear if something comes up. Jimin, you’ll stay with me. Jungkook, you stay a little behind with the package. Everyone just follow my lead and stay alert. Let them think we’re as dumb as Choi likes to think of us. Got it?”

               Yoongi had slid into Suga, the mafia persona he had adapted over the years. Suga was calculative, alert, intimidating to those who didn’t know him, and able to set the world on fire with a turn of phrase. He straightened his red coat and flipped up the hood to block against the cold as he pushed open the door. Jungkook let out a breath, nervous energy still rampant but his drive to succeed against all odd weighted it out. He mumbled a ‘goodbye’ to Taehyung and turned off the car, shoving the keys into his black hoodie’s pocket. He let his gaze wander in the rearview to see Jimin had already slid his rose-tinted glasses he had grabbed before leaving their hideout onto his face and ran his finger through his blonde hair. A bit of his bangs slipped back across one of his eyes. And with that simple gesture, the angelic, mischievous persona had been replaced with a devilish powerhouse one who wouldn’t stop until the job is done. The differences between normal Jimin to gang member Jimin would make anyone wonder if two different people. It still creeped Jungkook out when his hyung’s happy mask would slip when they got into a disagreement. Said hyung noticed Jungkook staring, and those dark eyes melted a bit when the younger’s doe eyes quickly looked away. He smiled a bit and reached for the black bucket hat that Jungkook had thrown into the back seat when they left.

               “Don’t look so worried. We’ll be good,” Jimin said, placing the hat over Jungkook’s long dark hair. The maknae wasn’t entirely sure if Jimin meant that the meeting would well or if that they’d behave. Honestly, he didn’t think it’d matter.

               Suga leaned his head back into the car. “Jimin, why don’t you let our guest out? I’m sure they didn’t appreciate all those pot holes JK decided to hit.”

               JK gave a small smirk as the wickedly, mischievous glint reappeared in Jimin’s eyes. He slid from the back seat and made his way around to the truck. He gave the metal a good kick before opening the hatch, the person inside letting out a surprised yelp as they were yanked out and down to the cold asphalt. The rat was blindfolded, gagged, and bound. He had tried to infiltrate one of their warehouses. He was young and inexperienced, trying to blend in with the new batch of recruits. And he almost went unnoticed, had they not had the best surveillance known to any gang in all of Central. Jimin almost felt sorry for him. Lord knows, he was treated better with them than his own group. But that wasn’t enough for Jimin not to scare him a bit more with a couple good shoves and breathy threats as they made their way through the crisp early morning air towards the uncertainty that lay inside the building.

               With each step towards the towering building, no longer were the three the friendly band of brothers who had spent the two hours driving around, laughing, talking, and singing obnoxiously loud to the radio. With each step, they were the most feared gang to walk the streets of Central since the Royals were in their prime. They were the most powerful group to rise from nothing to the greatest empires in the history of Central.

               They were Bangtan.

[arcanadotcom]

𝕄𝕒𝕚𝕟 𝟞 𝕒𝕤 𝔻𝕣𝕚𝕧𝕖𝕣𝕤

⊱ ────── ⋆⋅☆⋅⋆ ────── ⊰

(Hi everyone! I came up with these when me and my sister went out for a quick little drive after feeling sick of staying home 😘✌🏻 my driving skills got rusty. smh!)

(This is my first time writing so i’m sorry if they’re all over the place!)

⊱ ────── ⋆⋅☆⋅⋆ ────── ⊰

☆ Asra

owns an old used car from the 90’s that makes you feel nostalgic

it kinda reeks of weed sometimes...

has random shit laying around the back including a blanket because he totally takes naps in the car between his classes

he’s a pretty slow driver (goes 23mph slower than the rest of traffic)

but as soon as he sees a yellow light he FLOORS IT

this lil shit never uses his blinkers...smh!

giggles when people cuss him out. he don’t give a fuck!

will always give you the aux cord because he vibes with whatever. any tunes you like, he likes too 🥰

often misses freeway exits because he’s too busy chatting with you (“wha..? oh haha...anyways!”)

he easily gets distracted with anything really, so you have to remind him to keep his eyes on the road all the time (it’s cute at first...but after a while it’s just annoying)

always offers to pick you up but never asks for gas money (pretends to forget but he just doesn’t care because it’s you and he care you <3)

overall he’s a cautious driver, he just has very erratic speed patterns and takes really shitty turns

★ Julian

has had the same old black car for about 8 years (hates that it’s a stick shift, but he got over it already)

he’s actually quite a responsible driver. doesn’t break transit rules

never got his license though, but it doesn’t really matter (u gotta do what u gotta do)

he never arrives on time, always late (super apologetic about it)

loses parking tickets and misplaces his keys all. the damn. time. so you usually end up carrying them instead

makes a HUGE fuss over your safety. please wear your seatbelt or else he will go bonkers

but at the same time will not hesitate to be your designated getaway driver (if you need to gtfo of somewhere, he will get you the fuck out of there)

he actually has to use glasses because his vision sucks and can’t read road signs. he looks so cute

his car doesn’t have an aux cord outlet, so he has a bunch of cassettes of different kinds of music ( 70’s rock, jazz, some obscure russian band, etc ) lying around. he can’t drive without music!

has a bit of road rage; if he’s with you he’ll mutter curses under his breath trying to keep composure

but when alone he will absolutely yell at people, but his way of doing it is somewhat.....endearing?

will occasionally bump into things, but has never caused any serious damage

has never been pulled over and only gets tickets due to expired parking meters in downtown (somehow manages to talk his way out of them all the time)

he’s had enough experience around the city so he talks to you about places no one really knows about

he will literally take you a random phone booth that is actually the entrance to a secret undergroung café that looks like a place where academics would hang out and conspire new literary movements

☆ Nadia

doesn’t drive, she has a chauffeur

but if she did, she would own one of those beautiful, modern, pearly off-white cars.

it’s perfectly clean, well kept and smells great

no food or drinks allowed inside. periodt

you’d probably be afraid of ruining the seat when you first get in. she assures you everything is okay

totally drives around wearing a pair of gloves, headscarf, and gorgeous sunglasses to protect herself from the sun. also because she’s so classy <3

she excels at everything in driving

flawless breaking and parking, but thinks that going around looking for a spot is a waste of time so she’d rather just pay extra for valet parking

her only flaw is that she gets super impatient with how long it takes for a red light to turn green

and she almost never stops for pedestrians

would usually call you to see if you’d like to go shopping with her or just accompany her for some errands (pls go with her she adores having you around 🥺)

doesn’t have a problem with giving you rides, but she’s always busy with a tight schedule, so rides from her are very rare

probably feels bad about it so she’ll send you an uber black instead

★ Muriel

hates going out because it means he has to drive ://

he just wants to get from point A to point B without any issues really

you’ll notice that his car always has a layer of dirt on it since he never really uses it (he doesn’t bother to give it a little wipe before hoping in)

would probably own a normal, practical car that gets the job done and doesn’t need much maintenance. nothing too fancy

.......but i really want to see him with a jeep so i’ll make him own a jeep ☺️

highkey anxious and hyperaware of his surrounding drivers

he looks too tense and grips the wheel hard....tell him to relax pls

if someone tries to pass him, he will absolutely give them a Look through the rear mirror

not one to listen to music (will sometimes turn on the radio but slams it off eventually because it’s annoying)

used to be terribly afraid of highways

mumbles and grumbles about how dangerous and stupid it is to carelessly swerve lanes just to go fast and look cool

☆ Portia

drives all the time so she’s definitely the most experienced on the road

owns a cute convertible beetle that she takes care of and loves very much ❤️ (has so many cute ass bumper stickers)

will not hesitate to change the tires on her own if needed

music is always loud and top is down most of the time

she’s got anything you might need in her glove box (hand cream? tissues? sanitizer? pocket knife? she has it yes ma’am)

when she’s by herself, laws simply do not exist

lowkey a threat to society. get her off

she goes so fucking fast like she zooms💨 down the road (mainly because she’s always on a hurry)

basically breaks whatever law she wants but once she spots a cop, citizen of the year

ohh but if you and/or anyone else is with her, it’s a whole different story

she drives carefully and slows down, would hate to put your safety at risk (same as julian)

road trips with her are THE BEST. going on drives with her always feel like a scene from a coming of age film 💕✨🧚‍♀️

★ Lucio

not necessarily an irresponsible driver, he’s just reckless and obnoxious

owns a restored, fancy vintage car that’s either red or white (his license plate is personalized, bedazzled and borderline opulent). genuinely proud of it

revs the engine just to piss people off

is always willing and able to be there for you if you need him

when he’s there to pick you up, he will absolutely make a scene for you to notice him. simply giving you a call is out of the equation!

the backseats are full of white hair...you know he brings his adored babies everywhere he goes

blasts music at an ASTRONOMICAL VOLUME and he just sits there like 🤪✌🏻🎶🕺🏼

but believe it or not, his music taste is actually really good....it slaps. so it’s okay

likes to drive fast (“oh you want to see some speed? i’ll show you some real speed”)

cannot stand traffic and slow drivers make him go batshit crazy

honks at everyone for everything but gets offended if they honk back >:(

you’ll still see him at the red light despite him doing 84 lane changes

tells you he LOVES the attention he gets because of the car, but then feels super self conscious if people stare too much or too long......although he will never admit it

this guy loves to gossip with you and likes to make fun of random pedestrians... you gotta admit he makes you snicker quite a bit. who am i kidding he’s funny as fuck of course you’re gonna laugh

doesn’t slow down for speed bumps, will blow quick kisses at the little fake cameras on top of the traffic lights, and has definitely scratched the lower sides of his car on curves more than once (*frantic wheel stirring* “not my fault not my fault!!”)

this man’s biggest struggle is parking. he cannot park for shit (secretly embarrassed about it)

it takes FOREVER for him to parallel park. might as well snooze while he’s at it

genuinely tries his best, going as far as to do the “arm behind the seat to look back” move (he wants to impress you dammit!!), but gets frustrated and gives up

so most of the time he ends up taking two spots despite trying so hard not to

gets tickets all the time (“now they’re ganging up against me! and for what?? what the fuck did i do!!”)

cannot comprehend street signs (“lucio you will get a $650 fine” “darling wdym?? it costs $650 to park here”)

going on a drive with him can be stressful and a bit crazy, but it’s always entertaining and you get the best stories to tell

[kdramachitchat]

The Devil Judge - The Finale

A dystopian law drama w/a good concept that ended up underwhelming due to terrible writing. The star studded cast made up that fault with the likes of Ji Sung and Park Jinyoung.

Min and Jung has a previous conversation about the live show court trial. They team up so that they could stop this madness with the Supreme Court and with the SRF Foundation. Jung request that Min should keep an eye on someone and that someone is Ga-On. He requested Ga-On during their early meetings to be the Judas for Yo-Han. Min hated Yo-Han for ruining the country so he wanted to attack him by revealing his family affairs. He wants to drag Yo-Han down. He affirmed it when he was at the hospital and Jung visited. But Min didnt know how crazy Jung was and killed Soohyun. He said that Soohyun is like a daughter to him. Min said didnt he want to stop Yohan at all cost, that includes Soohyun too. Jung said that there's no going back now and they're close to ending the chaos, and questions if he wants to be remembered.

Min needed to become a monster to stop Yohan. Gaon then calls him a dirty hypocript and Min calls the security. Gaon is in pain that he just let Soohyun die just like that. Gaon was taken away by the security. Gaon tells Jinjoo that the foundation has set this all up and she wants to help.

The SRF team congratulates Jung for having Min to their side and Heo is in silence waiting for her instructions. He's literally her dog. They then talk about Yohan's mental mind now that he's in prison, he's out of his game. If he disappears quietly, they assume that everyone would be happy. Jung thinks otherwise, if he continues to say things she threatens him to step down. The SRF team continues to praise Jung. Jung discussses with her righthand woman on how Heo changed his personality completely and finds it fishy. She probably underestimated him and there's something else. She then request to check the status of the moving of the residence to the Dream Village.

Chief Ward meets Yohan to have discussiona t the office. Yohan disrespects the Chief  but the Chief warns him that this is not a live court show and that he's in prison.

Lawyer Ko talks to Gaon and how much of an idiot he is. He doesnt know if he can continue to trust Gaon with what he's done. Gaon is asking for help. Gaon wants to go expose the Dream Village and plans to go alone. Lawyer Ko warns him that there's tone of security but he can go to the Medical Center, but no way he can exit out. Gaon says just let him in. Also warns him that the media is on their eggshells and it's not anymore a free media. Gaon though has come up for something and request to get him 1 thing.

Gaon explains to Elijah in a letter that she didnt do anything wrong and promises that Yohan will return and that it wouldnt take long. He tells her to eat well to not get sick so that Yohan wouldnt worry. She then cries and eats her food to recover.

At the prison, Yohan and Juk breaks out a fight at the courtyard.

Gaon then enters through the Dream village by using the food truck inside a box. He then observes the restricted area and records using a small video device. He sees alot of people lying down sick surrounded by nurses and guards. He goes through the wards and surprisingly sees Ms. Han, the woman who sided with Yohan during the live courtshow. All of a sudden the President arrives at the facility. Theyre testing a new vaccine and the number of people that survived is 182. President requests about the behind payments of all the countries. Clinical trials are in high demand. President tells them when a person dies through the trials they collect all the well organs and export them as byproducts. Nothing goes to waste. Gaon silently watches them laugh maniaclly in disgust. The SRF and Heo talks about Jung behind her back, they plan to outs her. Gaon plans to escape with Han but was got caught with a nurse but saves himself that he's checking her vitals. The nurse recognizes him and actually helps him. She has been waiting for some help and said that their phones have been taken away. Also said that there's some sane people in the center too. She promises to help.

Breaking news that Yohan has been arrested for instigating murder is dead. He was stabbed by a assailant. Both co-judges are left in shock. Same goes to Jung. She's in shock but calms herself that it was done because of her. Jung will be President and Min would now be Chief Justice. He did a press conference instead of a inauguration. Oh was able to catch up with Min and tells him that Jung wants to meet him at her office, this is a set up. Gaon tells her to leave the building and requests her to go. SRF team celebrates at the live court set with Jung at the top of the judges seats. Gaon then captures Min and ties him up at the office with a bomb around his body. Since when did Gaon become so violent. Its a plant and the media will receive news about exposing the Dream Village with his name on it. Yohan suddenly appears and saves Gaon on time. The death news was fake and that Yohan had to dig out to save him. He reminded me of Batman at some point here. Yohan was able to get out by threatening the Chief with his corruption and crimes for the last 30 years. Mentions the Chief that the money is not with him anymore. Yohan tells him to save himself is by doing his specialty for swapping prisoners. Just give him 24 hours. Lawyer Ko enters and tells him that he couldnt tell Gaon everything. Yohan tells him that he was able to return the Chief a favor but not in the form of cash but through charity.

While the SRF is celebrating the lights and the screen suddenly went on with Yohan on the screen. Jung realizes that he is alive and so does the rest of the team. Its revealed as a solemn trial. Yohan starts a live trial and its the final trial with the entire SRF team being exposed with the Dream Home Medical Center. Looks like Jung doesnt know anything about it and asks the team about it. Even the conversation Heo had with the team regarding the citizens. They also show that Jung has killed innocent people in the way to fulfill her ambitions and to attack him. Min is attacked too as a betrayer.  Min is let go by Gaon but tells him that his name is tarnished forever and he will live awfully for the rest of his life. That's a better punishment and more realistically given too. 

There was a proper punishment given and Yohan announced that there's a bomb then leaves to go to the trial set. Yohan reveals that Gaon was the one who helped exposed and will testify to tell the whole truth. The bomb is planned and Yohan will sacrifice himself along with the foundation. Yohan asks them if the moment reminds them of the fire incident. All of them trying to escape. Only the fastest person survives. Jung calmly comes up from her seat with a gun on her hand. Heo complains that he is the President and Jung shots him due to annoyance. She also tries and aims the gun at Yohan. Yohan tells her that its the both of them till the end. Tells her to come with him till death. That's the only way she'll be with him, which is quite tragic. Jung says her final goodbye to Yohan and shockingly shots herself to death, like how Ms. Cha did. Gaon then appears at the end, tells Yohan to stop and think of Elijah. Gaon in the end will be the hero and Yohan pushes him out. Will Yohan survive the bomb explosion? He needs to be alive or Gaon will end up with nothing. Well he still has Judge Oh and Elijah at least. Gaon wents back to the mansion and ses the blueprint of the bomb explosion, there has to be a escape route for Yohan. Yohan tells him that Gaon must do something for him. Housekeeper tells Gaon that Yohan stopped by and tells her she's fired and asks for Elijah. Yohan tells Elijah that they're going to move out to somewhere safe and its a rehabilitation center in Switzerland. Gaon then finds out that Yohan is actually alive.

Gaon was set in a trial with the comittee. Gaon inwardly thinks that nothing has changed at all and is confused on what to do now that the country doesn't need Yohan. Yohan secretly bids goodbye to Gaon and he then quickly realizes it. Captures him on time from afar. The 2 men bid each other goodbye which then ends the drama.

Thoughts: If you like stories like Batman or The Hunger Games this would be the drama for you. The writer seem to took inspiration from both works. I think Yohan is like Batman/Katniss while Gaon is like Peeta. Oddly reminds me of the finale alot with the similarities of the characters. Or sometimes Gaon acts like Katniss/Peeta both. Just remove the whole romance aspect of The Hunger Games. There's quite a few angst moments of Yohan and Gaon. Gaon all of a sudden cares for Yohan. The writer tries to include those similiarities with the 2 characters. Yohan wants nothing more than revenge. Then the rest of the SRF are like the trial players or could be the government too. They try to copy the brutality of the hunger games the games itself with the fire incident and the finale of the drama. All trying to save themselves from death.

Messed up the ending. What I wanted most from this drama was for people to rise up to protect their country, because its the job of people to protect their country not the job of one or two people like Yohan and Ga On. Also they didn't even show the aftermath of the last trial. What happened to that dream house project and what was the people's reaction about the live trial? Assuming the whole time it was filmed. What did they think of Yohan after that? Alot of afterthought was left out.

Rating: Story: 3 (Great until episode 12 onwards) Production: 2 (Locations and the offices were ok but not meant for the dystopian feel they were trying to sell. Could've been more modern looking set) OST: 1 (BGM is spot on and fills the scenes well, dont like the rock portion of the OST) Acting: 4 (Mainly because of Ji Sung) Character Development: .5 (Main cast are 1 sided and no room or little improvement) Overall Enjoyment: 1 (The drama's tone is consistent throughout despite the bad writing) Total Rating: 2.5/6

[all-things-mlqc]

What do you think Shaw's fairytale could have been, had he been included in the "Wonderland after Dark" event?

First and foremost, now that I’ve written my response, I went way over the top with this idea. Was originally going to just summarize this idea and maybe slap Shaw’s face on Disney’s “Robin Hood” fox as a shit edit for funsies yet here we are with a whole HC. Anywho, I hope you enjoy and feel free to comment what other fairytale stories you guys think Shaw would’ve been good for!

Honestly my first thought was Aladdin or Robin Hood. I’m trying to think what best goes with his personality and how you could twist those stories into something new like they have with the other boys. I honestly feel like Robin Hood fits his personality especially with his latest event where he basically pulls a Robin Hood move, stealing from an antique store that was trying to sell fakes for the price of authentic pieces. He “took care” of the owner and people who were involved with this shameless exchange and by took care I mean beat them to a pulp in the alley, stole the items, and even got the shop closed down. While he didn’t necessarily steal valuable items and distribute the wealth to others like what our known Robin Hood does, what he did still protected many people without them knowing. Shaw has that sly, fun way of living life and really does help others without their knowledge. Even if it’s in his own dumbass way which can be selfish at times, I think he could’ve had a pretty good Robin Hood story in this event.

Robin Hood Shaw

Here’s your shit edit that took a total of 4.6 minutes to make

I imagine it would’ve gone something like this:

Shaw as Robin Hood would never settle in one place for too long. He enjoys adventuring around and would often be found visiting many different villages.

There were rumors in nearby villages of a vigilante who would supposedly ambush criminals, bandits, and even rich folks in the nearby villages who were involved with some sort of dirty business.

While he is a stubborn moron who does stupid things and can be selfish at times, he’s never once harmed or stolen from innocent people. He finds it thrilling when he’s able to let loose and be on the verge of getting caught, so fighting criminals/bandits/bad people within the village was how he enjoyed living life.

While most of his reasoning behind it may be selfish, the people of the nearby villages still considered him a hero.

He enjoyed taking out the rumored bandits outside of the village, getaway criminals within the village, and most of all, he enjoyed stealing from tactless, arrogant “royals” is what these people call themselves who used dirty tactics to gain the wealth they had.

Shaw loved the thrill of sneaking in and stealing their valuable belongings that were acquired unjustly with the chance of getting caught. And what he loved more was seeing their infuriated expressions after realizing they had been robbed.

To cover up his tracks, he would distribute the wealth among the good people of the village. He insists his good deeds are nothing more than him wanting some good entertainment and only gives the villages the wealth to cover up his tracks but we all know he’s secretly soft. Under all that bitchassness ofc

He would, however, always keep one item for himself. Whatever seemed to have caught his eye in that moment. The items he collected varied. He didn’t always care about their worth and would often take whatever seemed interesting to him.

Most of the money he used to provide food, clothing, and shelter came from the bandits and criminals. He had plenty of money to get around.

So in this date, I imagine MC going around village to village looking for this vigilante so called “Robin Hood” to help her village. Similar to Disney’s “Robin Hood” film, the people of the village are forced to pay an unfair amount of taxes to the people in control who then use those taxes for their own selfish desires, leaving the people of the village to suffer.

MC uses Robin Hood’s latest sightings from different villages as clues to where she may be able to find him, but many villagers tell her it’s hopeless, that he never shows himself as Robin Hood in public.

While asking around in a nearby village, Shaw overhears her conversation and catches her outside the village during her departure back home.

He asks why she’s looking for Robin Hood so she explains her village’s current situation vaguely to him.

Without explaining himself, he joins her on her journey back to her village.

She was uncertain about him tagging along without an explanation but soon had some friendly banter I say friendly but this man is just annoying as hell and we love it with one another. Y’all know how friendly Shaw is. Annoying but good at making conversation. Ya know... like his usual self.

Anywho, they come across some bandits on the way back where *enter Robin Hood Shaw*.

While Shaw fends off the bandits, MC also joins in and surprises him with some fighting skills of her own which ya’ll know damn well he’s gonna like.

MC was able to piece things together after seeing his fighting style and capability in which she asks if he’s Robin Hood.

He chuckles and responds with a simple “let’s go” as he continues towards the direction of her village.

She follows suit with way too many questions like mood mc, I wanna know what life is like as a bitch vigilante too but you also gotta remember he’s an annoying asshat

To be honest, her first impression after realizing he was Robin Hood was something like “wow wasn’t expecting him to be a dumb bitch” after all that friendly banter. But then again what do you expect from a man who purposely gets himself into danger?

Her questions included those as such: Why did you become Robin Hood? Have you ever been caught? Why do you always keep one stolen item from each place you rob?

His response was a question of his own “Why do you need the help of Robin Hood when you are capable of fighting, yourself?”

She pauses and explains she isn’t capable of helping the village all by herself and thought if she could find Robin Hood, the village would have hope.

Shaw pauses and states his own desires, “I’m not the person people make me out to be. I don’t do these things for the people, I do them for myself. Whether or not you want to believe I help people, in the end, I’m only doing this for myself.”

With that being said, MC suddenly felt a wall being built between them. Not that they had a well developed relationship beforehand

Still, MC explains her village’s situation in much more detail in hope of coming up with a plan.

MC throws out a few ideas while Shaw asks questions about her village and the men in control and then offers his own ideas.

After a lifetime of teasing and bickering, they come to a conclusion.

Once again bringing in Disney’s classic “Robin Hood” film, I thought it would be fun to include a fox in this story and even did some research on Chinese mythological creatures.

Huli jings are fox like mythological creatures that have the capability to shapeshift.

So to add a little twist in this story like the rest of the boys, MC’s village just so happened to be guarded by a huli jing spirit, or so the legends within the village say.

Shaw, with his sly, sneaky Robin Hood persona decided to use this to his advantage.

For days after returning to MC’s village, they gathered materials for their plan for the next time taxes would be collected.

With Shaw’s skills, he would dress as the huli jing spirit shapeshifted as a human wearing a fox mask and fight those who come by to collect taxes, threatening them to leave the village and never return while MC was in charge of special effects to make the “performance” seem more realistic.

He thought the idea of these awful villagers being frightened half to death by a “spirit” was rather entertaining and would make this mission much more satisfying in the end after everything going according to plan. Basically his thought process was “imagine pulling something off so ridiculous yet so incredible”

Slowly driving one by one out of the village, Shaw continued to “haunt” and threaten anyone involved.

However, it was only a matter of time when one of them realized it was all staged after finding MC off to the side, helping Shaw with his “performance”.

MC was then taken to the person in charge and held captive.

Once Shaw realized she had gone missing, he suspected the remaining few caught on and had her as a hostage so he finished his job more quickly and efficiently. Mr. iM dOiNg ThiS fOr mYsELf

Being stuck with the man in charge who was responsible for the village’s suffering, MC began asking why he did everything he had done, why he doesn’t help the village like one should. Oh MC, sweet sweet MC, there are some terrible people in the world and you should know this

After talking with the man for some time, there was a loud crash following the man being knocked to the ground by a powerful force.

“I’ve come to steal you away” is all MC hears before being swept up into Shaw’s arms.

With the man on the ground letting out painful cries, Shaw reveals himself as Robin Hood, receiving an appalled gasp from the man lying on the floor as he demands him to leave the village for good and never return.

The man refuses to give up, calling for backup only to be met with silence.

Shaw: Oh? You haven’t heard? They all fled the village. The remaining ones have been dealt with as well. It’s best you do the same if you value your life.

With this being said, the man got up and frantically stumbled out of the building.

As Shaw carries MC outside, the villagers thank him as they distribute the wealth found within the mans home among everyone, now safe from their continued suffering.

Enjoying her embarrassed expression, Shaw quietly teases MC while continuing to carry her away from others.

MC: You can put me down now, Mr. Every man for himself.

Shaw: Oh? I guess I found that time spent with you is utterly amusing and would be a shame to lose such entertainment.

MC: Well if you don’t go back soon, everything will be taken and you won’t be able to get your reward.

Shaw: And what reward would that be?

MC: The one item you choose to keep from every theft you’ve ever done.

Shaw chuckles while leaning close, whispering in her ear, “I’ve already taken my reward”.

Bye, I’ll be suffering while wishing we actually had Shaw in this event because he would’ve been 👌🏻👌🏻👌🏻

[thedykeprincess]

So you were disappointed in Throne of Glass...

 (DISCLAIMER: This post does not intend to offend anyone who loves ToG. Everyone is entitled to their own opinions and likes and dislikes and is allowed to express that. This post is meant to share books that have similar qualities to ToG for people who were disappointed in the series, like myself, but anyone who does like ToG can absolutely find great recs here! However, if you don’t want to hear anything ToG critical I recommend skipping over this post. Thank you!)

So last week I finally got rid of all my ToG books. I was mostly relieved that I now have more room on my bookshelf but I also felt a little sad. It was a series I really enjoyed when I first read it two years ago, and on some level it will always have a special place for me. It was one of the many books that got me back into reading after a five year slump, it’s the reason I became friends with the wonderful Nicole (@/rainbowbooktheif on Instagram) who was the first person irl to make me feel less alone as a bookish nerd, and it, unintentionally, helped me hone my critical reading skills. However, I slowly began to care less and less for the story and characters as the series progressed and ended up not reading the last two books because I just stopped caring. I wondered why a series that I loved so much in the beginning went down hill so fast for me, but in the process of falling out of love with ToG I realized I wasn’t the only one who felt this way about the series! The lack of diversity (and misrepresentation/mistreatment of diverse characters when they were there), sexism, lazy editing and lackluster world building, among other things, came up many times for me and other former ToG fans when discussing why we became disappointed in the series. But the pitch for the book (badass morally gray assassin taking down a tyrant king for her freedom, so cool!) and some of the elements (romance, female friendships, magic, trials) sounded so amazing even though in the end it was executed poorly. So, I decided to compile a list of books that I have read and loved that have some elements and themes of ToG. This list is by no means exhaustive and is limited by the books that I have read (which is not many when you look at how many books exist in the world) so I would love to see your recommendations! Please feel free to add onto this post any recs that you have! Now onto the list!

1) Graceling by Kristin Cashore

I read this book the summer before I started ToG and completely loved it. It was one of the early books that got me back into reading and it was honestly the perfect book for that. It was exciting and I couldn’t put it down. It follows an assassin for a tyrannical king who begins to realize her own gifts for killing are more then she ever thought they could be. Cashore does a fantastic job developing the lead character Katsa and the ways that she dolls out information to the readers slowly is impeccable. While this book is technically the first in a trilogy of books taking place in the Graceling world, it can be read as a standalone fantasy (which I feel like are very rare). Another part of this book that I really loved was the romance. I usually don’t read very many straight romances (due to the sexist/problematic aspects many of the ones that I’ve read have) but the relationship between Katsa and Po is honestly a breath of fresh air when you’re used to a lot of toxicity and sexism with cishet romances in books. The two take care of each other and their relationship is very balanced. There are no gender roles pushed on either of them and they truly grow to become a team throughout the story and it’s wonderful to see! I would consider Katsa and Po, while canonically cis (there isn’t any explicit queer rep in this book), both quite androgynous characters who often express themselves in a fluid manner which I really appreciate. Over all this is an amazing classic YA fantasy that everyone should check out!

Synopsis: “Katsa has been able to kill a man with her bare hands since she was eight—she’s a Graceling, one of the rare people in her land born with an extreme skill. As niece of the king, she should be able to live a life of privilege, but Graced as she is with killing, she is forced to work as the king’s thug.

She never expects to fall in love with beautiful Prince Po.

She never expects to learn the truth behind her Grace—or the terrible secret that lies hidden far away . . . a secret that could destroy all seven kingdoms with words alone.

With elegant, evocative prose and a cast of unforgettable characters, debut author Kristin Cashore creates a mesmerizing world, a death-defying adventure, and a heart-racing romance that will consume you, hold you captive, and leave you wanting more.”

2) Three Dark Crowns by Kendare Blake

This book is the first in a five book series about three royal sisters raised to battle it out for the throne. I must admit the first book in the series is a little lackluster due to the fact that it’s setting up a lot but the second book just blows everything out of the water in a fantastic way. This series is dark and bloody and intriguing. I got completely hooked on this series and it brought out a lot of emotion to the point where I was gasping and shouting and throwing my book around as I was reading it (I got very invested)! I think that’s one of the things SJM can do well is get you hooked on her characters and Kendare can do the same (if not better). I love the dynamic between the sisters, this book does a great job at exploring the darker side of familial and female/female relationships (mostly platonic.. there isn’t very much queer rep unfortunately) that I really appreciate. The magic system and wolrdbuliding are also something that I enjoyed and I though was quite well done. Kendare does a good job at weaving in worldbuilding and magic system seamlessly into the story and I love that so much. Three Dark Crowns is just a fun and exciting series that I think anyone who loves fantasy YA should check out!

Synopsis: “ In every generation on the island of Fennbirn, a set of triplets is born—three queens, all equal heirs to the crown and each possessor of a coveted magic. Mirabella is a fierce elemental, able to spark hungry flames or vicious storms at the snap of her fingers. Katharine is a poisoner, one who can ingest the deadliest poisons without so much as a stomachache. Arsinoe, a naturalist, is said to have the ability to bloom the reddest rose and control the fiercest of lions.

But becoming the Queen Crowned isn’t solely a matter of royal birth. Each sister has to fight for it. And it’s not just a game of win or lose…it’s life or death. The night the sisters turn sixteen, the battle begins.

The last queen standing gets the crown. “

3) The Priory of the Orange Tree by Samantha Shannon

So a little disclaimer, this book is one of my favorite fantasy books of all time. I read it over the span of a few months last summer (its a long one guys...800+ pages) and it was one of the greatest, most well thought out fantasy books I’d ever had the pleasure of reading. I loved the characters, the world, the plot, the magic system etc. I loved everything! There’s some great political intrigue, dragon riders, epic battles, prophecies, weddings, funerals, romance and just general badassery and kickassery happening. Shannon clearly put so much time and effort into this book and it shows. That kind of dedication that shows is something that I really appreciate in a book, especially a fantasy book. Another aspect that I loved so so much is the diversity in this book. It came so naturally and didn’t at all feel like tokenism. The characters, with their differing genders, ethnicities, sexualities, ages, and nationalities etc, and their relationships with each other are truly what made the story. This book also has one of the BEST f/f romances I’ve ever read (as a queer woman I really loved that representation so much and felt very connected to both of those characters). Priory is a long one but if you have the time I highly recommend it.

Synopsis: “ A world divided. A queendom without an heir. An ancient enemy awakens.

The House of Berethnet has ruled Inys for a thousand years. Still unwed, Queen Sabran the Ninth must conceive a daughter to protect her realm from destruction – but assassins are getting closer to her door.

Ead Duryan is an outsider at court. Though she has risen to the position of lady-in-waiting, she is loyal to a hidden society of mages. Ead keeps a watchful eye on Sabran, secretly protecting her with forbidden magic.

Across the dark sea, Tané has trained to be a dragonrider since she was a child, but is forced to make a choice that could see her life unravel.

Meanwhile, the divided East and West refuse to parley, and forces of chaos are rising from their sleep. “

4) Truthwitch by Susan Dennard

As a queer woman, I’m always a little on edge when someone mentions f/f friendship in a book. This is entirely because of the erasure many many f/f romances experience when they are just brushed off as friendships (we’ve all heard the term “gal pals”). It’s frustrating and even though I love a good f/f friendship when the f/f romances get erased and replaced by friendships it gets exhausting. However, Truthwitch is a true f/f friendship that I can fully get behind! Dennard is an author that I had been following for writing tips for a while before I finally picked up her book. I knew that she’s someone who is invested in making her series diverse, even if she herself doesn’t fit into those categories, and accepts criticism because she want’s to do her characters justice. That’s something I really appreciate seeing from white cishet authors and is one of the reasons I picked up Truthwitch. It’s so much fun and the heart of the story truly is the relationship between the two leads Safi and Iseult. Their friendship reminds me a lot of my relationship with my friends. Books about f/f relationships (romantic or otherwise) are few and far between so I really love that this book exists. Strong platonic relationships are so often pushed aside for cishet romantic ones so it’s SO refreshing to see a series where the book would not exist without Safi and Iseult’s bond. They are truly soulmates and their relationship with each other is the most important one in their lives and that is just beautiful. Not to mention this book has got an awesome magic system and is building up to an amazing fantasy series! There’s pirates, priestesses, princes and, of course, witches! It’s loads of fun all around!

Synopsis: “ Young witches Safiya and Iseult have a habit of finding trouble. After clashing with a powerful Guildmaster and his ruthless Bloodwitch bodyguard, the friends are forced to flee their home.

Safi must avoid capture at all costs as she's a rare Truthwitch, able to discern truth from lies. Many would kill for her magic, so Safi must keep it hidden - lest she be used in the struggle between empires. And Iseult's true powers are hidden even from herself.

In a chance encounter at Court, Safi meets Prince Merik and makes him a reluctant ally. However, his help may not slow down the Bloodwitch now hot on the girls' heels. All Safi and Iseult want is their freedom, but danger lies ahead. With war coming, treaties breaking and a magical contagion sweeping the land, the friends will have to fight emperors and mercenaries alike. For some will stop at nothing to get their hands on a Truthwitch. “

5) Monstress by Marjorie Liu (Writer) and Sana Takeda (Illustrator) 

Another disclaimer! This book is my favorite graphic novel, period. There is really nothing like Monstress out there and I think that it’s criminally underrated. Liu and Takeda are the perfect combo of writer/artist to make this GN come together. I’m constantly in awe of the world, characters, and story Liu built and the frankly stunning art Takeda creates to go along with it. It’s steampunk and dark and dirty and beautiful. The lead character, Maika, is one of the few truly morally gray characters that I’ve read. Her decisions will make you question if you’re a good person because you still love her despite the fact that she just killed that guy... and that guy... and those other guys. This graphic novel series is very reflective of the dark animes (like Tokyo Ghoul and Castlevania) that we are seeing more recently and I personally believe Monstress would make a fantastic animated series if it were ever to get an adaption. This book has also some great representation of queer women (Maika herself is a queer, disabled, WoC). It’s totally the norm for the world and all of the lead female characters are queer, which I just love. This story has amazing woldbulding, magic, characters etc. It’ll give you everything from giant dead gods, to talking cats with multiple tails, to demonically possessed teenage girls who need to eat people. It’s honestly amazing. (I would give a major trigger warning for blood/gore so as long as you know you can handle that I think you should check it out!)

Synopsis: “ Set in an alternate matriarchal 1900's Asia, in a richly imagined world of art deco-inflected steam punk, MONSTRESS tells the story of a teenage girl who is struggling to survive the trauma of war, and who shares a mysterious psychic link with a monster of tremendous power, a connection that will transform them both and make them the target of both human and otherworldly powers. “

6) The Bridge Kingdom by Danielle L. Jensen

I never thought I would love a cishet romance as much as I love this one but here I am. The Bridge Kingdom is not really the kind of book I would normally pick up but it was on sale on kindle so I thought “why not!” And I was not disappointed. This story follows the assassin princess, Lara, who was raised to be married off to her fathers rival kingdom and kill the king. However, things get sticky when she begins to actually fall for the king and starts to realize that her father isn’t exactly who he says he is. Not only was this romance steamy as hell (this is an ADULT book folks so there are some explicit sex scenes, beware) but the world is super cool. The political intrigue was something I really enjoyed and I loved to see the world unfold from Lara’s eyes. I also totally loved Lara’s character. She’s complicated and cutthroat but ultimately want’s to do what’s right and is a character made to change and develop. I usually don’t go for that character trope that Lara fits into (beautiful and badass and despite being the MCs they somehow end up being very bland...) but Jensen managed to create a very mature and ever changing version of the YA trope that I ended up loving completely. If you love steamy fantasy romances with cool worlds and intriguing characters this is absolutely the book for you!

Synopsis: “ Lara has only one thought for her husband on their wedding day: I will bring your kingdom to its knees. A princess trained from childhood to be a lethal spy, Lara knows that the Bridge Kingdom represents both legendary evil - and legendary promise. The only route through a storm-ravaged world, the Bridge Kingdom controls all trade and travel between lands, allowing its ruler to enrich himself and deprive his enemies, including Lara's homeland. So when she is sent as a bride under the guise of fulfilling a treaty of peace, Lara is prepared to do whatever it takes to fracture the defenses of the impenetrable Bridge Kingdom.

But as she infiltrates her new home - a lush paradise surrounded by tempest seas - and comes to know her new husband, Aren, Lara begins to question where the true evil resides. Around her, she sees a kingdom fighting for survival, and in Aren, a man fiercely protective of his people. As her mission drives her to deeper understanding of the fight to possess the bridge, Lara finds the simmering attraction between her and Aren impossible to ignore. Her goal nearly within reach, Lara will have to decide her own fate: Will she be the destroyer of a king or the savior of her people? “

[emerald-amidst-gold]

Hey! 1,5,8,15,20 for the uncommon OC ask please! 😊

Why hello! Thanks for stopping by! 😊😊

Are you ready for a ramble? Because I'm ready for a ramble! >83 I'm actually going to do this for my Hawke, Rylen! *gasps* Not Fane, you say? Oh, trust me. Rylen's a treat in his own way. Eheh~

1. What’s the maximum amount of time your character can sit still with nothing to do?

Rylen is a terrible, terrible busybody. The man cannot sit still to save his life. It's more or less a subconscious fear of being perceived as lazy or not trying to better himself or his family. A lot of the unintentional guilt that Leandra put on him had adverse side effects to where this is Rylen's constant frame of mind. He literally reiterates, "I need to go do something. Check on Anders? Oh wait. Already did that. Should I see if Varric has any new jobs? I don't really need the gold, but..I'll check anyways. Maybe I'll take the mabari out while I'm at it. Don't want Mother getting upset if he pisses on the marble again. Oh! Fen might be around, too! I'll stop by! Then.." He goes around and around in circles, so from dawn til dusk, Rylen is go, go, go. He doesn't stop until Fenris or Varric make him stop, or he just collapses at the end of the day.

5. How easy is it to earn their mistrust?

Act 1 and Act 2 Rylen is more inclined to trusting most folk due to literally needing to, to make ends meet. Now, Act 3 Rylen is where this question comes into play. After Leandra died, Rylen...spiraled. Heavily. He saw himself as a failure, a poor son, and a lousy excuse for a man. It also shifted his views on magic and mages heavily to where any mage they came across, Rylen would hesitate when otherwise he would have helped them within a heartbeat. He realized he needed to be more aware, to be more cautious or the same thing could happen again to his found family. Anders' actions leading up to and including the explosion of the Chantry don't help this mindset. When Anders more or less questions Rylen's need for an explanation before the explosion, that's when their friendship sort of...dropped. Rylen realized Anders didn't trust him and in turn, he began to lose trust in Anders. So, the minute someone close to Rylen questions his motives, after all he's done for them and all they've been through, that's how easy it is to earn his mistrust.

8. What were they told to stop/start doing most often as a child?

Rylen was a little shit as a child. Not lying. He went out of his way to antagonize the priests and templars in Lothering's Chantry because:

One: He thought it was hilarious every time the Mother who rapped him with a cane because he was 'too wily', found lizards in her pillow or in the unlit braziers.

Two: While it drew attention towards their family, it was in an alternative way. He did it to push the attention onto himself, a misbehaving, mischief child, and away from Bethany.

Despite this, both Malcolm and Leandra lectured him and told him there were other ways he could protect the family. Secretly, however, after Leandra would walk away, Malcolm would turn to Rylen and whisper with a smirk, 'Next time put water on the coals. Make steam to sweat the templars out.' So, it was both to stop and to start doing this trick of his more.

15. How do they speak? Is what they say usually thought of on the spot, or do they rehearse it in their mind first?

Rylen blurts out the first thing that comes to mind. His mouth is a fountain of nonsense that has no filter until he hears himself utter the words. By then, it's obviously too late and he just has to smile like he planned it! Literally upon meeting Isabela, he goes, with finger guns:

"How you managed to do all that without pants is amazing! You should teach me how to do that with my daggers! ...With pants, I mean. Uhhh... I fucked that up, didn't I? I did. I did.."

Internally, he's screaming at himself. Screaming, I tell you. Thankfully, Izzy hits it off with Rylen from the get go, and his boundary-less words don't even phase her. If anything, it helps her relax since she doesn't have to worry about Rylen freaking out when she does her harmless flirting.

20. If they were asked to explain the difference between romantic and platonic or familial love, how would they do so?

Do as the Fereldans do, equivocate with mabari! Not joking. Rylen would literally describe it like how a mabari feels when its imprinted and then bonded.

Loyalty, deepest devotion, and a strong sense to protect even at the cost of your own well being. That's what platonic or familial love is to him. To cast aside all to make sure your family is safe and whole. Especially if they can't defend themselves due to age or experience, or are in a state where they can't fend for themselves, even though they typically could.

Obviously, these aspects could roll over into romantic love, but Rylen sees romance as more of a relationship of mutual respect and unyielding trust in the other - whether it be through faithfulness or believing, knowing the other can take care of themselves in a fight. He would equivocate romantic love as more of when a mabari has tightly bonded with their master. There's a link, a connection, an understanding that sometimes friends or family don't necessarily see or wish to see due to insecurities or not wishing to be a bother.

So, platonic and familial love to Rylen is more when a mabari first imprints. Careful, cautious, still loving, but unaware of specific boundaries. While a romantic connection is when that choice has been tested through trials and tribulations. Those trials yield the fruits of trust, respect, pride in each other, and knowing the other has your back, and able to communicate without fear of boundaries, but knowing and admitting when you have. Of course, this depends solely on the relationship Rylen has with each person he's close to.

***

Thank you so much for the ask! <3 I always enjoy them, and I'll try to make a habit of asking all you lovely people questions, too! Reciprocation is key!

[smilepal]

Character Study:

Tagged By: @noirapocalypto

Tagging: @shinycorvidae

Layer 01: The Outside -Name: Hiro Oda -Eye Color: Blue--decided to keep it instead of replacing it with optics. -Hair Style/Color: Hiro has messy black hair, kept shorter on the sides. It's usually worn in a bun or a short ponytail. He has black hair, and spends an embarassing amount of time on it. -Height: 5'4. He more than makes up for it with his personality though, or at least so he says. -Clothing Style: His Style is cyberpunk meets urban samurai-likes lots of layers and stylishly over (or under) sized shirts. He likes to scavenge clothing he finds on jobs, so his wardrobe reflects this. He wears a wide range of colors, and isn’t always the most subtle, with occasional pops of bright neon--especially in the clubs. He usually wears comfortable, flexible shoes or boots--preferably ones that are good for climbing/running and making a quick getaway if necessary. When on missions or out and about, he disguises his face using his old Tyger Claws mask. He has two--one in red and the other in black. It's a chore trying to get him to wear formal clothing, he hates getting dressed up and prefers fabric with a shine/interesting textures (especially leather, but he wouldn't say no to a dash of latex on occasion, anything that catches the eye). -Best Physical Feature: He's attached to his tattoos, despite that they represent a part of his life he's very much done with but he thinks he'd look strange without them. He's confident about his appearance and spends a lot of time working on it, and is a touch vain. Layer 02: The Inside -Fears: He's afraid of more than he likes to let on. He's afraid of water especially if he can't see the bottom of it--he never learned to swim. He's definitely afraid of losing people he cares about--there's not very many of them and he's afraid of his defection from the Tyger Claws painting a target on them. While not exactly a fear he finds the Badlands unsettling--there's so much open space and it's oddly quiet, especially after the noise and lights of Night City. -Guilty Pleasures: Real coffee (even though it's a frivolous expense), baking, and trying to pet every stray cat he can find. -Biggest Pet-peeves: How people tend to treat joytoys/dolls, as if they're disposable. As someone's who's past is a bit spotty, it's a sensitive topic and he gets grouchy/tight-lipped if you push him too much -Ambitions for the Future: Beyond finding a way to extricate the chip and keep both him and Johnny in one piece? He'd like to eventually make enough doing merc work to be able to just make a living fixing stuff. He's a good mechanic and would love the time/financial stability to be able to work on his hobbies more. Layer 03: Thoughts -First thought waking up: I don't have nearly enough coffee for this (in the event he managed to actually sleep in the first place) -What they think about most: Trying to keep their partners safe, in NC this is a constant job and requires a lot of vigilance -What they think about right before bed: So much--they have terrible insomnia so post-sleep anxiety is fairly common. -What they think their good quality is: They're generous and have a strong moral compass--will occasionally not charge people for gigs despite the monetary loss, especially if it seems like he'd be taking advantage of the situation or it doesn't feel right. He's kind, even if he does come off as rather prickly. Layer 04: Either Or -Single or group dates: As he has two partners, a lot of his dates tend to be group dates. He's not one to set up formal dates though. He'd rather just go out for a casual cup of coffee or a late night bike ride. He only realizes it's a date after the fact, usually. -To be loved or respected: He'd rather be loved. He's seen where only wanting respect gets you and he'd rather not turn out like his corpo older brother -Beauty or Brains: He definitely coasts by on intuition, luck and good looks at times so he's a bit biased but in regards to a partner, it doesn't matter much to him? A sense of empathy/loyalty are

more important to him than either. -Dogs or Cats: Cats! He loves them (and owns two--a Sphinx named Kira, and a black cat he's dubbed Goro--as it seems to share the same look of general disapproval.) Layer 05: Do They... -Lie?: Yes, if it's to protect their partners or for work. -Believe in themselves?: It depends on who's asking. They come off as very confident but it hides a lot of deeply rooted insecurity. They're more sensitive than they like to let on. -Believe in love?: A bit. They admire the idea of it but don't think it's for them. It's something they secretly really crave though--even if they'd have a hard time admitting it. -Want someone?: Yes. They end up with @shinycorvidae's V (Vic) and Johnny because damnit they're getting a happy ending. I don't care if it's not cannon 😂 Layer 06: -Been on stage?: Yes, it's a common thing (or at least, previously had been) and they're fairly desensitized to it. -Done drugs?: Tends to try really hard to stay away from them. Both his parents had issues with them and definitely played a role in their death. He uses airhypos/anasthetic grudgingly but that's it. -Changed who they were to fit in?: Not to fit in, per-se but to slide under the radar better. They know that it's safer going unnoticed in Night City most of the time and that's the way they like it. They're good at putting on masks for people though. It takes a lot of patience, and a bit of a thick skin to get them to drop it and show facets of their real personality through. They're a lot softer than they first let on though. Layer 07: -Favorite Color: Black/red especially together. He's also partial to blue -Favorite Animal: He loves cats (and has two that he dotes on like his children) -Favorite Book: It would be challenging to get him to admit it, but he can't read very well. He loves it when Vic reads to him though, because she seems to enjoy it so much and he likes hearing her voice. She's a fan of the classics, and he enjoys the poetry the most. -Favorite Game: Not a game per-se but he's really into racing. Bikes are a hobby of his and he's damned good at it, and has very little fear (and more than a little recklessness). He also wouldn't say no to a game of pool once in a while, particularly if he can rope his friends into a game of it. Layer 08: -Day their next birthday will be: He doesn't know his birthday so he decided on Oct. 31st. -How old they will be: 25 (at least he thinks so) Layer 09: I... -I Love: My partners, and the people I've let get close to me -I Feel: Determined. We'll find a way where we get to decide our future, whatever the cost. -I Hide: My fears and ugly bits of my past. I don't like letting other people know and making them worry. I don't want their pity. -I Miss: Jackie. There's still a lot of guilt there. -I Wish: We had more time, or at least a more clear solution. I feel adrift.

Thanks for tagging me @noirapocalypto! It was really fun to fill out--and I'm always happy to talk about my characters :)

[mohdeep237]

I never knew how quickly the world could fall apart, not until today.

“Breaking news, an asteroid bigger than the moon is hurtling towards Earth--”

“Scientist by the name of Andy Stevenson invents first ever human compatible exoskeleton--”

“It is said that the asteroid may contain a certain specimen of bacteria closely resembling the organic structure of a virus--”

“Andy Stevenson has made Earth’s first extraterrestrial defense system comprised of fully automated defense robots--”

“An interview with a local from hometown of famous Andy Stevenson is on now- ‘Them killer bots will end us all! That bastard only wants destruction! Heed my warning! He’s crazy! He’ll kill you and your whole fami-’ Well, that’s, um, not quite what we expected--”

“This just in, the asteroid has hit Earth--First contact in Russi--Earth is on the verge of--How will we surv--”

Chapter 1

It has been five years since the asteroid made contact. We now call that event “The Turn”. The supposed virus that was on the asteroid turned out to be deadly, however, not in a deadly kind of way. Once you get infected, your brain shuts down after a couple days, but you don't die. The virus makes sure you don't die so that it can live inside you. If you happen to come into skin-on-skin contact with one, you’ll be infected immediately, but the effects will still take a couple days to begin. It doesn’t control you or anything, it just makes you stand there in a lifeless state, and those who are infected for long enough start trekking along the land, searching for more bodies to infect. Basically the longer you are infected, the more rabid zombie-like you become. However, if you were to get one’s attention, you’d be attacked on the spot.

As for how the world is doing, I’d say pretty terribly. The UN have decided to make designated “Quarantine Zones”. They’re basically huge cities that are protected by fifty meter concrete walls, and within those walls are defense robots by, you guessed it, the “world famous” Andy Stevenson. Nobody really likes him, in fact, most of us want him dead. There’s concrete evidence of shady dealings and corruption within his company, but they ignore these details and secretly kill anyone who goes against them. How do I know? Because that’s how my parents died three years ago.

My parents had a baby boy when they were in their twenties, which happens to be me. They were really outgoing people and they loved me a lot, as I really loved them. My parents always seemed to be fighting for the right cause wherever they went and I wanted to be just like them. They had been put in life and death situations before and lived to tell the tale, but it seems that their luck had run out this time, and I was there to watch it. Those damn robots, said to be for any “alien activity”, turns out that old man was right, they are for destroying us instead. That madman only cares about his wealth.

As for me, I am now twenty-one years old with semi wavy medium length black hair, dark brown eyes, I am about six feet tall, I have a light beard going on and what young hipsters would call a “killer moustache”. I live alone in a one bedroom apartment in the Vancouver QZ (quarantine zone).

Unfortunately, the only way to make some decent money in this place is to work with the government, either in an office job or on duty as an officer. The job ain’t that bad considering the benefits, but it’s still considered working for that lunatic Stevenson. Most people in the officer position praise Stevenson like he’s their god, but there are a few of us here that really hate his guts. It’s only a matter of time before we make a move.

Chapter 2

I started on my way to check in at work when I was caught off guard by Jimmy, a co-officer of mine. Jimmy has light brown hair that was just about an inch off his head and has bright blue eyes. He’s just a tad bit shorter than me, which I nag him about everytime I start losing an argument to him. “Hey Dean! Over here!” he hollered, as he does every morning at work. I get closer to him, “Would it kill you not to yell every time I get here?”

“Hey man, can’t tell me how to be a friend.”

“Right, whatever you say,” I say, trying to prevent him from being a megaphone any longer. “Hey,” I whisper, “Have you seen Kate by any chance?”

“Man I’m telling you, just give up on her dude. She’s way out of your league.”

“I know, I know, but I can’t help but try. Maybe she’ll give me a chance?”

“That is if you even ask her, chicken”

“Don’t taunt me, it’s not like you’ve got a girlfriend. You’re as much of a loser as I am.”

We begin to enter the check in point which is around fifty feet away. In the slight distance we see a metal fence topped with barbed wire, and within that fence was two gates, one lets vehicles in and out, the other solely for people. We go through the gate and check in to work. As we walk into the waiting area I see, out of the corner of my eye, a stunning woman with silky dark hair, deep brown eyes, and the most gorgeous smile. Kate.

She looks beautiful as always, I think to myself.

Just as we settle in, the general shows up. I would talk to her more often if she didn’t look so scary with that scar across her cheek . “Alright then, let’s make this quick. I haven’t had my coffee and am in the need of some serious rest.” she said firmly, nearly everything she says is said in that “hardcore general” kind of voice, it’s another point that makes her so scary.

The general continued to list names of the people in groups and where they were going out to patrol today. “And finally, Dean Wood, Jim Smith, Kate Williams, you’re patrolling the west in sector A5,” said the general in a gruff voice.

Yes, I get to patrol with Kate! I think to myself.

“Hey, we get to patrol together!” Jimmy says, practically screaming in my ear.

“Yeah, woohoo.” I reply, almost too sarcastically. Kate walks over.

“Looks I’m with you guys,” she says in that sweet angelic voice.

“Yeah, glad to patrol with you again” I say.

Me and Kate have spoken to each other quite often, especially while being in the same patrol group, but there’s never really been anything special between us.

“Well let’s get going,” Jimmy says as he nudges us towards the supply unit.

We each put on light, but highly protective, metal gear and hook up high tech exoskeletons which enhance our every action that are made by, the one and only, Andy Stevenson. As much as I hate to admit it, he does make some quality combat gear, plus he does fund the military so I guess I should expect us to be able to use such powerful technology. We also take a couple weapons and ammo with us to ward off or just eliminate any infected we might see along the way. I grab my usual shotgun, long-range rifle (basically a sniper but they won't count it as one), and my trusty revolver. They don't understand why I take the revolver instead of the regular pistol that can shoot more at a time and more quickly at that, but I've always had a special connection to it. My father used to teach me how to use it and it just seemed so cool to me so maybe that’s why. Once we finish gearing up, we head to one of the jeeps and climb in. Sector A5 is about fifteen minutes away, but with Kate here too it’ll feel like just a few for me.

We arrive at the patrol area in just short of the time we would normally. Maybe it’s because of the complete lack of traffic and road laws during the apocalypse. I’ve been in this area once before, there are plazas filled with stores on all sides of an intersection. Just means more places for the infected to be lurking. We get off the jeep and start the patrol. All three of us walk together making sure that we are covering each other's backs. One usually doesn’t see many infected while on patrol, maybe three or four. The highest I’ve seen on patrol is eight. They aren’t too hard to kill, given that you can shoot quite well and can aim for the head, but the more there are the more dangerous the situation becomes. That’s why we go in groups of three, for complete safety.

We start checking inside buildings to make sure none are hidden.

“Let’s split up, it’ll make this much faster,” Jimmy proposes.

“What about the ‘safety in numbers’ thing?” I ask concerningly.

“Yeah, shouldn’t we just stick together and stay safe?” said Kate.

Yes! Kate agreed with me!

“We haven’t seen one infected this whole time, plus it means we can go home sooner,” Jimmy argued, and to be honest, it was a good argument. I did want to go back. The sooner we got back in the jeep, the sooner I could focus on Kate’s beauty.

“Fine, but don’t take too long. And if something happens shoot a flare into the sky. Make sure the flare is red.” I say. We all agree and go off to patrol alone.

I head to a supermarket because I feel it would take the most time. I head inside and start looking around. It’s solely lit by the sunlight outside which gives it a dark, ominous look inside. Nearly all the shelves are empty.

I guess people were getting desperate to survive huh.

As I walk further in, I start hearing some kind of deep noise. The noise grows louder and louder as I go more and more into the supermarket. I turn the corner into a big open area and I see tens, no, hundreds of infected just standing there.

Where did they all come from?

I instinctively take a step back, but my foot knocks over an empty can. It clangs as it hits the ground. One of the turns and looks up at me. I panic and fire a flare into the glass ceiling and start to run. The infected don’t take long to realize I'm there and start to chase me. I rush for the exit and I see Kate at the entrance.

“Hey, are you done in there?” she asks.

“Run!” I yell, “Go, go! Run for it Kate! Too many infected!”

She didn’t seem to understand until she saw the massive crowd of infected chasing after me. She bolted right away and yelled for Jimmy to start the jeep. Jimmy quickly understood and put the jeep in gear. Kate got in and looked at me.

“Come on Dean! Let’s get out of here!” She yells.

“By the time he gets here we’ll be overrun by infected,” Jimmy says.

“We can’t just leave him there.”

“Don’t worry, I’ll start driving just fast enough so he can catch up and we can make it out of here alive.”

“As long as we get Dean.”

They start driving onto the road while I’m running as fast as I can to make it in time.

I have to make it. If I don’t they’ll have to drive off leaving me to…

No, that won’t happen. I will make it.

I desperately try to run and make it to the jeep.

I just need to get close enough for someone to pull me onto the jeep.

The hoard of infected just keeps getting closer and closer, louder and louder.

The jeep is starting to pick up the pace. I need to hurry if I want to make it back alive and well.

“Dean! Grab my hand!” Kate yells as she reaches out to me. “Hurry Dean! There’s a tight corner we have to turn in fifty meters, if you don’t catch up you won’t make it!”

I try to be faster, faster than I’ve ever been. My legs are starting to get tired. My heart is beating rapidly. I’m slowly running out of breath. I run and I run, trying to get just close enough for Kate to reach my hand. I’ve always wanted to hold her hand, but I never considered it to be like this.

I reach out my hand and desperately try to grab Kate’s. I can start to feel the infected trying to grasp me as well, I even hear their hands slipping off of the armor that I’m wearing.

“Jump Dean!” Kate cries. I desperately try to get my tired legs off the ground as one last ditch attempt to save myself now.

Then the jeep turns the corner.

Chapter 3

[commentaryvorg]

Danganronpa V3 Commentary Extra: Rantaro’s Love Hotel Event

At one point I vaguely mentioned that I might make a post covering Rantaro’s Love Hotel event sometime. Unlike most of these events, Rantaro’s one is in fact very good, to the point that it might actually be my favourite piece of Rantaro content. So if I ever wanted to briefly talk about some of the things that are interesting about Rantaro that aren’t relevant in the main storyline, this is honestly the best way for me to do it.

(And maybe there’s also a not-so-Rantaro-specific reason I want to talk about this, too.)

Obligatory warning: this is side-mode bonus content, but I will be mentioning endgame spoilers; don’t read this if you haven’t finished the main story of the game.

First off, understanding this event requires knowledge of what we learn in Rantaro’s FTEs. So, while I don’t quite want to go out of my way to cover those line-by-line, here’s the gist of them for anyone who doesn’t know.

Rantaro’s family is fairly rich and travels around a lot, and one time while in a foreign country, he lost track of his little sister, who was supposed to be following behind him, and she vanished. Ever since then, he’s been doing everything he can to get her back, travelling all over the place and getting himself into all kinds of dangerous scenarios.

Rantaro feels as though his Ultimate should be something like Ultimate Useless Older Brother for letting this happen to his sister in the first place. But Shuichi concludes after hearing the story that maybe Rantaro’s actually the Ultimate Big Brother. It’s not Rantaro’s fault that he lost her, and he’s been trying so hard since then to get her back, essentially devoting his whole life to it, which sounds like the best kind of big brother there is.

After Shuichi agrees to use his detective skills to help Rantaro find his sister, Rantaro then casually adds that, oh by the way, he’s actually got twelve younger sisters who all went missing in similar ways on separate trips.

…And this is the point at which I go “yep, that backstory’s definitely fictional”. Letting it happen once could have been an accidental lapse of attention, sure. But after that, Rantaro would have been extra determined to protect his remaining sisters and not lose them too, so there’s absolutely no way he would have let it happen again eleven more times. That’s just wanton carelessness, as if Rantaro doesn’t actually give a damn about his sisters’ safety at all, which is very clearly the opposite of the truth about him. This only makes sense if it’s fake memories and never actually happened.

(But man, no wonder he hates himself, since he genuinely believes that he really did somehow just carelessly let that happen to every single one of his sisters like the worst big brother in the world.)

Rantaro’s backstory here doesn’t really have much bearing on his role in the canon plot, since his issues there are an entirely separate story fuelled by the whole Survivor Perk thing. Still, this does somewhat help explain why Rantaro is the type of person he is. He probably already had trouble trusting people and feeling like he deserved to be trusted even without the Survivor Perk handicap making it worse – recall fresh-out-of-season-52 Rantaro telling his future self to “trust no-one”. And yet, despite that, he also has a very strong instinct to look out for others and be protective like the big brother he is, hence trying to end the killing game despite his hesitation to trust anyone. His protective instinct might lean towards girls in particular, since they’d be more likely to remind him of his sisters – he did comment at one point that he was worried Kaede’s proactiveness might get her in trouble with Monokuma. (This is why I headcanon that the two survivors from season 52 were both girls; I just think it’d be fun if part of why Rantaro sacrificed himself for them was that they reminded him a little of his sisters and he wanted to protect them at least where he’d failed before.)

So anyway, Rantaro’s Love Hotel event, aka an event where Shuichi has to play the role of the subject’s “ideal fantasy”, which doesn’t have to mean something romantic, shock horror, because this one is entirely platonic. In it, Shuichi finds himself being treated as a student whom Rantaro is something like a private tutor for.

Rantaro:  “That’s why you’re my favourite student. Good job! Good work, Shuichi!”

Shuichi:  (As he showered me with praise, he lightly tussled my hair with a smile.) […] “R-Rantaro… I’m not a little kid…” (Even if this is his fantasy, it feels weird to be talked to like that.)

Rantaro:  “…‘Rantaro,’ huh?”

(His tone had changed. He pulled his hand away, dejected.)

Rantaro:  “Not that long ago… you were calling me ‘Big Brother.’”

Except it’s clearly more than that. Rantaro has come to think of this student as like a surrogate younger sibling figure, no doubt to fill the painful gap while his sisters are still missing.

It’s unclear, though, whether he actually has a student like this in real life. This could just be his fantasy of wanting to feel like a big brother again – a fantasy constrained by the unchangeable reality that his sisters are gone and it’s impossible for them to just magically be there, so his subconscious went for the most plausible alternative instead.

Rantaro:  “Haha… I guess I made you hate me… didn’t I, Shuichi?”

Apparently Rantaro is all too liable to assume that any “younger sibling” of his would obviously turn to hating him at the slightest provocation. (His sisters must hate him for letting them fall into whatever awful situation they’re in right now, right? They’re definitely blaming it all on him.)

The reason for “Shuichi” supposedly hating Rantaro here is that Rantaro recently announced he’d be leaving on a trip soon – presumably another expedition to try and find his sisters – and can’t even say why.

(Shuichi doesn’t figure out that this is about his sisters, which I guess is because it’s possible to get this event without having done Rantaro’s FTEs in which Shuichi learns about that.)

Rantaro:  “I know I’m being selfish, Shuichi. I’m sorry, but I want to shelter you from danger as much as I can…”

Shuichi:  “What? Danger…?”

Rantaro:  “Haha, whoops, guess I shouldn’t have said that… Forget it.”

Shuichi:  “No, Rantaro, I won’t. Not with that look on your face…”

Rantaro:  “Some teacher I am, huh? Making you worry about me…”

Obviously it’s terrible of Rantaro as a teacher (as a big brother) to make Shuichi worry about him. That’s not how things are supposed to go in this arrangement at all, so Shuichi should definitely just forget all about it and stop worrying.

(yes hello guess who this is beginning to remind me of, are you maybe starting to see that other reason I wanted to cover this event)

Rantaro:  “But you don’t have to worry about a thing. Nothing will ever hurt you. I will protect you. I promise. No one precious to me will ever get hurt again.”

There is absolutely no way someone this fiercely protective would ever have let each of his precious little sisters disappear on him twelve times over. No way. It’s so cruel that Rantaro’s fake memories are making him believe he must secretly be the kind of callously careless person who would let it happen. He’s bound to feel like these assurances otherwise are really just empty words that he’ll always end up betraying when it matters, because he would have promised the same thing to eleven of his sisters, more and more fervently each time, and look what happened anyway.

Shuichi:  “W-Wait, Rantaro!” (I don’t really understand, but here goes…) “That… That hurts me, Rantaro. Thinking about you carrying this burden all by yourself hurts me.”

Meanwhile, look at Shuichi hating to see someone he cares about carrying a burden all by themselves, and confronting that person with the fact that they’re hurting him by not letting him help. I wonder who else Shuichi might have said this to, hm? If only he’d known.

Shuichi:  “Maybe you see me as just a student, so you don’t think I can protect you… But I don’t *want* to be sheltered and oblivious to everything.”

Rantaro:  “Shuichi…”

And look at how Shuichi doesn’t want this person to be hiding their troubles from him in an attempt to protect him, because he can protect them too. This unbalanced arrangement of strictly one-directional help and support while the other person suffers alone was never what Shuichi signed up for.

(If only they’d realise that they need and deserve to be supported, and that needing it doesn’t mean they can’t still support others themselves.)

Shuichi:  “Rantaro, you’re going to quit being my tutor, right? So I’m not just your student. I’m your *friend*. You can tell me anything. I know I can help you.”

Shuichi’s approach to this is exactly what he does in Kaito’s Harmonious Heart event and I love it. Rantaro’s trying to insist they have this tutor/student (big brother/little brother) relationship that means Rantaro has to hide all his worries and problems and bear all of that by himself to keep Shuichi safe and oblivious and not worried – but no. Shuichi is having none of that nonsense that puts so much extra undue pressure on Rantaro, because they are friends and he wants to help. Just like with Kaito – he sees this as the best, simplest way to get through to his friend and stop them being so goddamn selfless, and it is.

(Or, well, he and Rantaro might not even technically be friends in this Love Hotel event if Shuichi hasn’t done his FTEs. Still, Shuichi is playing this role of someone who views Rantaro as a tutor/big brother/friend, so he’s acting out what he would do if a person he cared about in that way was behaving like this. Sure, Rantaro never even mentioned that they’re specifically friends, but Shuichi extrapolated from the situation that obviously this person would consider Rantaro a friend as well as those other things. Shuichi is good.)

Rantaro:  “Are you sure about this, Shuichi? You’re at the point of no return…

Shuichi:  “I would never want you to face it alone, Rantaro…”

Rantaro:  “You’ve really come into your own. Haha… Alright, I give up. I’ll tell you everything.”

Looks like it worked! Rantaro now has (in his fantasy) not just a surrogate little brother, but a friend and comrade who’s going to help him and be there for him as he searches for his sisters. Which is probably a lot more beneficial for him in the long run than just yet another younger sibling for him to feel like he’s letting down one way or another.

Rantaro:  “Just… until the end of this lesson, can we act like nothing’s changed? The time that I’ve spent as your teacher… has been such a comfort to me.”

I also really like this, because it shows that Shuichi’s response to all this wasn’t Rantaro’s fantasy. Rantaro wanted to just re-experience the feeling of spending time with a younger sibling who’s safe and protected and is never ever going to get hurt or be in danger at all. And Shuichi essentially threw that out and told Rantaro not what he wanted to hear, but what he needed to hear – that he needs to stop being so selfless and let the people who care about him help him for once, because they don’t want him to be suffering alone and he deserves better than that.

This is a really great event because it’s a rare – and really well-done – showcase of Rantaro’s issues from his backstory. They’re some pretty fun issues, so it’s honestly a big shame that they’re basically not relevant at all in the main story and only even come up in bonus bits like this. (Granted, someone had to be the first to die, and the way it was done with Rantaro was probably one of the best ways to make that person still feel fairly narratively relevant and not like a complete throwaway – but it does sadly mean that most of his potential as a character and not as a mysterious plot device had to be squandered.)

But that’s not all; I also really like this event because of Shuichi’s role in it. From what little I gather of how these mostly-stupid Love Hotel scenes go, it probably doesn’t usually even matter that it’s Shuichi in them, because he’s just a placeholder forced to play this role no matter how uncomfortable it makes him and how unlike him it is. But in this one, Shuichi being here does make a difference. Not everyone would have responded to Rantaro’s situation like this, but Shuichi did, because he’s a really good friend who’d never want to let the people he cares about carry their burdens alone.

So not only is this a great event for showcasing Rantaro’s issues, but it’s also great for showing us how good and supportive of a friend Shuichi has the potential to be, even towards people who are stubbornly trying to put themselves in a one-sided protector role that has to carry burdens alone. Shuichi was always exactly the right kind of person to help Kaito with his problems, too – if only he’d known what Kaito was hiding from him in the first place.

(Also, man, if Rantaro had lived longer, he and Kaito could have had some very interesting interactions. I love how many characters in this story it’s possible to draw parallels and contrasts to Kaito with.)

[artificiallyimplantedmemories]

@videniye​ sent this meme: Send 🛡️ for your muse to take a bullet meant for mine. [x]

    Both of them have aggressively left behind a life of pain. Natalia doesn’t talk about her past, but the Red Room’s training sometimes still lurks in her mind. She covers it up with laughter and sass, and in Bucky and Steve, she’s found genuine friends. They care about her, make her feel like she has a place to belong, and the flirting (and eye candy, let’s be honest) is a definitely perk. As for Bucky, Nat has found out about his wartime experiences in bits and pieces, but still doesn’t have a holistic picture of everything that happened out there. Bucky is extremely reticent on this front (as people usually are with trauma), and Nat knows better than to push. It’s not like she’s any better, right?

    Still, as the months have gone on, they help heal each other. Sometimes, that comes under the guise of a new tattoo, sometimes it’s simply crashing on the floor together under a massive blanket to watch shitty movies. Steve is in the middle most of the time (because he gets cold most easily, and both Nat and Bucky know that he needs the most protecting), but the two of them also steal moments for themselves too.

    Steve pouts at them, but he knows he gets his own time with each of them too, so it’s fine. They deserve to be happy together.

    Nat has done a phenomenal job of covering her tracks. She and Ivan have purposely kept their operation local, off the radar from anyone who might be looking for them. They’re popular but niche, and don’t have so much as a website up in order to reduce their clientele. She respects Ivan immensely for that — after all, he neither had to take her in nor go on the run with her when things got bad. Besides all of that, his talents are enough to seriously make a name for himself if he wants, but he still settles for very nearly struggling by for the sake of his adopted daughter. It’s more than Natalia could have asked from anyone.

    Unfortunately, even the best laid plans are waylaid

    The Red Room comes back to claim their lost protégé, and Natasha is not prepared. It’s not that she can’t fight them off, as she does keep her training up secretly, but it’s the fact that she now has people to worry about, attachments that they can take advantage of.

    Sentiment is not worthwhile for an assassin, they tell her.           She should have left her heart on ice, and maybe she would not have failed.

    She refuses to believe that it’s true. She has felt more alive in the last few years than she has in the rest of her life combined. She’s been able to experience joys and sorrows the way that all people should. She’s had leaps of hope, brushes of gentleness, and even managed to destroy the fear that she had no soul left to spare. She has been whole here, and she would not trade it for the world.

    No. That is a lie.           She would trade it in a heartbeat for the safety of the people she loves.

    The first attack comes when she is alone. The Black Widow is easier to tackle without Ivan at her side. He is ex-military after all, and can put up a hell of a fight, has been proven to do so for the sake of his girl. If they can get in and kidnap or kill her first without him knowing, they’ll be better off. 

     It doesn’t go as they expect. She may have settled into a routine that doesn’t involve death on the daily, but she knows what signs to look for. Hyper-vigilance is an old friend, one she has yet to shake off. They not only fail to take her by surprise but also get three of their agents hurt in the process. That is a surprise to them. Natalia has aimed to maim and not to kill. Things have changed. Perhaps it’s complacency? Perhaps it’s a conscience? 

     Nat heads back using the most roundabout method she can, climbing up facades of buildings, ducking into abandoned homes, biding time in seedy bars and stealing a change of clothes. A beanie hides her bright hair, grime covers her face, and she looks like a homeless wanderer instead of the neat, clean, precise Natasha that people know here. She’s fired off a text to Ivan, letting him know that he needs to get away before people come to hunt him down too, but she doesn’t really have enough faith in his self-preservation where she’s involved. 

     He’ll probably be waiting for me with two shotguns and a hot-wired car, the madman, she thinks fondly. The KGB wouldn’t launch their attack on me without knowing my routine though. If they did, it would be highly unprofessional. So they’ll probably stay away from him as long as he keeps his head down and doesn’t do anything too terribly suspicious. 

     This is her hope as she ducks into the alley behind the shop. It’s closed today, and she goes through the hatch in it that leads up to the supply room, rather than having to use the front door. Quickly, she gathers long-disused supplies, a couple firearms, blades, a hat and coat with extra pockets. She’s glad that she stashed these here instead of at the apartment. Suddenly, there’s a lurch in her heart as she realizes that being on the run again means that she won’t get to say goodbye. Hell, fuck, and damn it all. At least Bucky and Steve deserve an explanation... 

     Survival comes first though, and she takes a moment to scrawl a note for them to leave in the shop. Inevitably, they’ll come around on Monday when she doesn’t show up for their lunch meeting, and they’ll find out at least a little about who she is, why she’s running. It’s an apology. An attempt at an explanation. An inadequate farewell. Natasha forces her hands not to shake as she rushes through the words, and it’s so very tempting to sign off with the three that she’s been wanting to say for the better part of a year. It’s not right though, to let them invest themselves when she’s only going to disappear, so she folds it and lays it on her desk with a sigh. Enough time has been wasted, she needs to go. 

     Scarf pulled up around her face, she rushes back to the apartment. There are raised voices inside, and her hackles go up so fast that they could have given her whiplash. One is the angry, low voice of Ivan, spitting his Russian in the way he does when he’s been backed into the corner about something. The other is a voice that sends chills down her back. She’d know that gravelly voice anywhere. The Headmistress herself has come to find her. 

     If she goes in, she may be dragged back to Russia and forced to resume a life of blood and bitterness. If she doesn’t go in, it’s entirely likely that Ivan will end up dead for arguing. She may still be able to ensure his safety, and so she takes a deep breath and opens the door. 

     The old woman sitting on Ivan’s chair (there’s a moment of colossally illogical rage at that) beckons Natalia in. They all know what her entering the apartment means. Almost immediately, Ivan sags in defeat. Once the redhead has made up her mind, there’s very little he can do to dissuade her. Still, his eyes plead for her to reconsider. She, in turn, carefully doesn’t meet his gaze. 

     “How kind of you to join us, little Spider,” the woman croaks, and the only sign of Nat’s displeasure is the hard set of her jaw. Her sidearm is within reach, but she’s not sure how many other assailants are currently hidden in nearby apartments, ready to blow them apart for making even the slightest wrong move. Ivan only got away with arguing for so long because it bought them time for her to arrive. “Your services are needed. I’m sure you understand.” 

     She does. The Black Widow was their top student, their little killing machine. If they want her back, it’s because there’s a high level assassination that needs to take place, and someone else has failed. 

     Her expression is one that cannot be classified. Perhaps there’s a hint of satisfaction, that she’s been able to outwit them for so long, perhaps resignation, pride and pain. There have been so many others after her, she knows, and none of them have lived up to her legacy. How they must be punished for that. She wishes she could save them. She wishes she wasn’t broken enough that she can’t scrounge up the appropriate amount of sympathy.

     “I take it that the Recluse has been punished?” 

     It’s an ultimatum given. You show me that you will torture your own daughter to gain my loyalty or I won’t go. It’s no less cruel to herself though. Anya was her friend once, so many years ago. 

     “I’ll let you personally oversee it,” comes the reply. How utterly horrible. 

     “Then you know what I will ask for in turn. Ivan and the others here go untouched, or I burn your entire operation to the ground, your own withered husk included.” 

     The Headmistress scoffs, but nods. She has expected as much. Natalia’s current life reeks of domesticity, but her senses are sharp. She has already proven that she is more valuable alive than dead, and her skills will be useful to the agency. They are the Dark Room now, even more deadly, with more experiments underway to create Natalia’s successor. So far, though, none have been quite so perfect. They need her back, even if they have to dispose of her later. 

     The redhead nods as well. “Leave. I have packing to do.” The Headmistress, accustomed to the Widow’s rudeness, rises. Just as the old woman gets to her feet, though, there is a knock at the door. Everyone freezes. 

     “Natasha, you in?” 

     Nat fights not to let her expression crumble. It’s Bucky, darling, sweet, wonderful Bucky who has seen too much and been through too much and does not need to know that his tattoo artist fling is about to vanish off the face of the planet in order to kill people. Her heart breaks a little, and if she hadn’t been in the presence of her most hated enemy, she would be shaking. 

     “Let him in,” the Headmistress whispers, and the redhead tenses further. 

     This can’t be happening. No, no, Bucky, run! Run away from here! She yells it in her mind, as if she can get him to listen, but there’s nothing doing. She hears him call her name again and has no choice. The Headmistress will kill him even if he walks away if Natalia does not prove that she’s willing to take orders. Slowly, she moves to the door, unlocks it, and opens it a fraction. 

     “Hey,” she murmurs, soft and sad and wishing she could do anything but this. “Sorry, this isn’t the best time.” 

     “What’s wrong? Are you okay?” 

     And gods, doesn’t that just make her eyes want to swim with tears. She closes them for a second, regaining control. There are others watching, even if the Headmistress is towards her back. She cannot afford to show weakness. “I’m fine, Bucky. It’s okay. Can I catch you back at your place in a little bit?” 

     “You may not,” the Headmistress interrupts, pulling the door wide. Her gnarled face sneers down at Bucky, then grabs Nat’s arm and drags her back in. “Why don’t you tell him why you’re leaving, hmm?” 

     “You’re leaving?” He sounds devastated, and the redhead wishes she could show any emotion at all here, that she could pretend that she didn’t have to be a weapon right now. Instead, she doesn’t even look at him anymore. 

     “You promised you wouldn’t touch them,” she says to the old woman instead. “He walks out of here and goes about his life without your interference. That’s part of the deal.” 

     “Oh he will, but I think he should know who you are first. I won’t hurt him, precious little Spider.” Her hands trail down Natalia’s jaw and she fights not to jerk away. The Headmistress’s touch has always been associated with painful stitches, whip marks, reminders of failure and that hasn’t faded even after all these years. When the woman pulls her hand back at last, it’s to motion to the weapons littering the apartment. “See these, Mr. Barnes?” (Oh god, she’s done her research she knows who they are, they’re not just casual acquaintances, I’m so screwed, Nat thinks.) “These are the tools of the trade for your precious friend here. Not a tattoo gun, but real ones. She’s made her life on taking the lives of others. Possibly even your own comrades — you were in the military too, weren’t you?” 

     Nat can see Bucky starting to shake a little. If she could just reach out her hand to take his, to reassure him that she got out as soon as she could, that she doesn’t hurt people anymore...! But she can’t because she’s just promised to go back into it, hasn’t she? For his good, even, but she is willing to kill again. She hates herself. The Headmistress keeps talking, and the buzz around her ears builds. She can practically feel the anxiety attack that he’s having manifesting within herself, and suddenly her self-control snaps. 

     “Enough.” She places herself in front of the old woman, glaring. “You would not say such things to someone you meant to have survive. Get out before I kill you myself.” 

     “Oh, Natalia,” comes the reply, hoarse and amused, “you would not survive killing me.” 

     She does leave though, at long last, and when it’s just the three of them in the room, the air whooshes out from Natasha’s throat, harsh and wet with emotion. “I’m sorry,” she whispers to Bucky, “I didn’t think she’d ever come back. I was naive, I’m sorry.” Bucky, for his part, remains silent, eyes glazed as he fights off the war in his head. Slowly, gently, Nat works her fingers into his tense ones, drags him close enough that he can feel her body heat, presses her forehead against his. “Please, Bucky, James, look at me darling. Breathe with me.” 

     It takes a long moment before his gaze shifts to hers almost mechanically, but her audible breaths seem to help. Ivan, blessed be, tucks all of the weapons out of sight. They’ll be bundled up into bags soon anyway, and gone with Natalia into the stark blankness of Russian winter. Nat tries to calculate how long she has like this, how she can maximize the good she can do for him before she has to disappear, and it just... doesn’t work. At any moment, KGB agents might break down her door and drag her out of here. Violence on their part will only cause Bucky more trauma. It’s time for her to ease him out of here. 

     “I’m sorry,” she says again. “I need you to go find Steve. He can help you, alright? But I can’t do that if you’re not somewhere safe. I need you safe, do you understand?” 

     This is not what she usually says. Normally, when his world is falling apart, she is the one telling him that he’s safe, that she’s there with him and not going anywhere, that everything will be fine as long as she’s there to protect him. It seems foolish to him that he has to take refuge in that, but he’s always believed it somehow, that she was capable of protecting him. He’d never questioned why. Now, with the image of guns laid out on her table and a knife strapped to her arm, he feels like it’s viscerally true. 

            It also feels like he’s letting her go to her death. He’s terrified. 

     “You have to come back,” he says at long last, and Natasha’s face twists in agony. Of course she wants to come back, she doesn’t even want to leave in the first place! She adores him, wants to keep him from harm, and here she is doing what she does best apparently — hurting the people around her. “Please promise me.” His voice is nearly a whisper. 

     Natalia cannot give false platitudes. She squeezes her eyes shut, shakes her head, presses kisses to his face. “Go, Bucky. Be well. Take care of Stevie for me and he’ll take care of you.” She pulls him into a bone-crushing hug and then shoves him away. “Go. The Headmistress is not patient. She can still come back and kill you. Run, please!”

     Ivan grabs her shoulder and hands her the duffel bag. They, too, are running out of time. He will come with her, against her wishes, because someone has to stay by her side. Better him, he supposes, who knows the workings of that world inside and out, than someone who will shake apart at the seams, no matter how much the young man may love Natalia. She needs someone who will not blink in the face of destruction, who will kill ruthlessly and precisely, just like she does. Bucky remains standing in the doorway as they leave, and Natalia can only hope he’ll get home safely. 

     Downstairs, a car waits. The Headmistress glares at Ivan, and shoos him away. He will get his own vehicle, only Natalia is allowed to ride with her. “I’ll go with him,” the redhead says, “to make sure you honor your word.” Without her in his company, she’s fairly sure that a bunch of the goons will immediately try to kill him. She’s not chancing it.

     When she turns back for a last look at the building though, the vision of Bucky in the doorway chills her. She can see at least three people moving towards him, and all she knows is that he is not safe not safe not safe those words were meaningless he’s not — 

     “Bucky!” 

     She throws caution into the wind, races back to his side and it’s just barely in the nick of time because gunfire starts raining down on them. She grabs him and drags him into a neighboring building, knowing that this one has a hidden cellar where she can stash him until the firefight dies down, but he’s dragging her through it, into the back and out into the alley, his hold on her is too tight and if she weren’t in top shape she’d be dragged along and she wants to yell that Ivan is still back there but... 

     But Ivan is better at taking care of himself, and right now Bucky needs to be as far away from the action as possible. She throws a flashbang behind her to stun her pursuers (the best she can manage while fighting not to trip over her own feet), and pulls a knife loose from its strap across her chest. She’ll throw it when she gets the chance. 

     The world is a blur around her for a moment (because holy fuck Bucky is fast), and finally they gasp as they lean against the wall just inside the back door of a local restaurant. Bucky is shaking with the adrenaline, but seems present enough to talk to, and Natasha hugs him tight. “They’ll come after me again, but this was a good distraction for them. You keep running, I’ll pull them off the other way. I know you don’t want to use this again, but...” She presses one of her guns into his hands. If it’s kill or be killed, she’d rather he did the killing. 

     His breath hitches as his hand closes around the weapon. She’s really just — 

     His thoughts are cut off by a kiss, slow and gentle and oh so familiar. “I wish this could happen any other way. I don’t want you to get hurt,” she says, and he finds himself nodding, unfathomably sad. She’s had this on her shoulders for so many years, unable to say a word. If he has to deal with his own PTSD for the sake of her survival, he’ll do it. He’ll suffer afterwards in silence, but he’ll do what he must for now. 

     Natalia presses another chaste kiss to his cheek, and then disappears out the back again. There are the sounds of gunshots in the distance, fading, and he heads outside. He should go home, he knows, he should find Steve, keep them safe however he can, make sure none of the agents that were after Nat come after them. He does none of those things. Instead, he discreetly follows the sounds of fighting. Long-buried instincts come to the forefront even as he fights the bile down, and the first man falls by his hand. A second is not far behind. Natalia is up on the rooftop, fighting someone hand to hand, Ivan is shooting at a retreating car, and he climbs the brick with shaking hands, hoping that everyone that matters is still safe. Carefully, he levers himself up onto the roof, injured arm practically vibrating in pain. Natasha appears to have some bruises and scrapes, but little else. 

     The relief does not last long. The man that Nat had been sparring dives off the roof, and instinctively Natasha goes to follow, setting her up precisely in line of a waiting sniper. Bucky spots the assassin half a moment before Nat does, and yells. 

     The moment seems to happen in slow motion. There’s not enough time for her to get out of the way, given her momentum, so he jumps, slamming himself into her instead. They take a rough tumble on the gravel, and Bucky hits his head. When his eyes reopen, bleary, he can see Natasha’s face set in fury like he’s never seen before. She shoots wildly until a bullet finally hits its mark and takes the sniper down, and then returns to his side, hurriedly propping him on his side and pressing down on his stomach. Her other hand fiddles with her phone, calling 911 and relaying the details before hanging up.

     Slowly, he looks down at her hand and... oh, that’s a lot of blood. 

     “You fool,” she whispers lovingly. “You absolute fool, why did you come back?”

     “Because you were here.” 

     She cries, ugly and beautiful and absolutely devastated. The bullet has gone deep. She can’t tell if he’ll survive, and she can’t bear the thought of him dying for her. She’d been willing to leave it all behind, to go on living without him as long as he was safe, but this... this is not something she can cope with. She can’t lose him, not like this. 

     “So help me god, if you don’t survive this, I will bring you back to life for the express purpose of murdering you myself. And you know Steve will do the same. Please... you’ve got to survive for me, okay? Please.” She hangs her head, hoping against hope, and there’s nothing she can do to fix this. There’s nothing she can say except... “I love you.”

[tiaragqueen]

Caught Out

✂ Pairing: Yandere! Chrollo Lucilfer x Reader

✂ Word Count: 1,8k

✂ Trigger Warning: Suicide attempt, mentions of kidnapping, slight violence, blood, depression, yandere theme

[Edited]

***

The tendency to live in an alternate universe where I’m the pitiful heroine inside my head has led me to write this one-shot. I’m not really familiar with Chrollo, but I hope I’ve caught his personality right. Well, as right as being a yandere can be...

If you like my writing, please support me on ko-fi!

“Did you really want to die? No one commits suicide because they want to die. Then why do they do it? Because they want to stop the pain.” - Tiffanie DeBartolo

It’s funny how desperation can make you think the unthinkable. And sometimes, you even decide to act upon it.

 You stared at the knife on your hand, glassy eyes narrowed in hesitation. The blade glinted under the light, mocking your weak resolution to end everything right here. You’d thought of this – many times, actually – but actualizing has always been the scariest part. But you couldn’t prolong this any further. One of the Spiders would be here soon and, depending on your luck today, Chrollo might be the one to approach you first.

 Well, you just hoped he wouldn’t. You hoped that they stayed wherever they were for as long as possible.

 But Lady Luck had long left you to rot in this hellhole. You couldn’t even remember the last time you’d been so lucky to spend more than a few hours without shackles around your legs. Yes, it was your fault for trying to rebel against him when he was stronger than you in most aspects, but you couldn’t possibly surrender just like that. You had dignity, for God’s sake! You had to fight.

 No, you needed to fight.

 And fought you did. But you lost, just like what that little pessimistic, yet realistic voice inside your head had expected. Chrollo had disarmed you in the blink of an eye and trapped you against the wall. It was a loose grip, but you knew that he could easily snap your neck if he wished to.

 Sometimes, you wondered why he didn’t do so the first time you’d tried to struggle. You weren’t strong, you didn’t have a Nen, and you lacked the skills necessary for combat. You were completely ordinary; neither pretty nor ugly, neither smart nor stupid (not as smart as him, obviously), and neither fast nor slow.

 You belonged with the average people.

 And yet, for some unknown reason, he’d taken an interest in you. He’d said that you’d helped him once when he wasn’t this… this powerful man. You didn’t remember – couldn’t remember this memory he’d been reminiscing so fondly of. A fog of uncertainty and fear had covered your mind, rendering you unable to recall the past. You’d thought that he was being delusional, but the possibility was too far-fetched for you to consider. Besides, Chrollo was too… logical to make up such a ridiculous story, so you had no choice but to believe in him.

 For now, at least.

 You regarded the gleaming blade, thirsty for that crimson liquid. Slowly and shakily, you pointed the tip to your vein. Your heart began to pick up at each second passed in doubt.

 Could you do this?

 Would you do this?

 Were you ready to do this?

 Gulping, you gripped the wooden handle and prepped for the inevitable doom. You could do this. You would do this. You had to do this. There was no other way to save you from your anguish. This was the right choice.

 It was now or never.

 “What do you think you’re doing?”

 You froze, the knife almost pierced through the thin skin. Your mouth went dry when you heard footfalls casually approaching you from behind. Sucking a deep breath through your gritted teeth, you whipped around and mustered up a disarming smile.

 “F-Feitan-san,” you glanced at his taller partner, nodding in greeting. “Phinks-san! You guys… came back early, huh?”

 “Had you listen to our meeting last night, you would’ve known that our mission took less than two hours to complete.” Feitan retorted, hands buried inside the pockets of his baggy clothes.

 You flinched a little at his acrid tone, yet still smiling nonetheless. It was beginning to hurt your cheeks, but you needed to maintain the act to dispel their suspicion. “A-ah, sorry. I had a bit of a... headache last night. That’s why I couldn’t remember much from the meeting.”

 “More importantly,” Phinks changed the topic and took a step forward. “What the hell were you doing?”

 “I…” You gulped, averting your gaze from his probing look. “I was just… experimenting.”

 Feitan squinted his already small eyes until they appeared as mere slits. “Experimenting for what?”

 Damn it! Why did you have to give the wrong answer?! Now he became more suspicious with you. Think fast, [Name]. If they caught on of what you did, they would surely report this to Chrollo.

 “I just… I just wanted to slice some bread.” You grinned nervously, waving the knife around to emphasize your point. “Yeah, I was hungry so I decided to make my food!”

 There was a long, weary sigh before Phinks disappeared from your sight.

 “I must say, [Name]-san, you are a bad liar.” You gasped once you realized that Phinks had disarmed you; the same way Chrollo did when you attempted to murder him in his sleep.

 Yes, you were that bold. You were that cruel to secretly attack a person during their slumber. Then again, why should you be guilty? Why should you apologize for what you’ve done? After all, he was the one who had robbed you of your freedom.

 Even though it meant that you had to be put under closer supervision.

 It was a miracle that none of the Spiders tried to kill you as a payback or became wary with you due to their loyalty to Chrollo. Maybe because you were under his protection. Maybe because he was their leader. Or maybe because he hadn’t bothered to tell them about what had happened during your ‘first night’ together.

 Feitan twirled the knife on his pale hand, scrutinizing a drop of blood that coated the tip. You didn’t even notice that, nor the stinging pain in your wrist. You were too scared of the consequences that loomed over your head now that you’ve failed to convince them.

 Then again, why did you expect them to believe in such a terrible lie? Why did you expect, for just one second, that you could fool people who were smarter than you?

 But it didn’t hurt to hope, right? Although you didn’t succeed, and probably could never succeed, as long as you were still under their watch. At least you’d tried, right? The fact that you’d been brave to proceed with your plan and lie to them should be more than enough.

 ... Right?

 “Leader will surely be disappointed with your rash action,” he drawled. “[Name].”

 “What action?”

 Your breath hitched at his voice. Chrollo calmly entered the kitchen, as though he hadn’t interrupted an important conversation that he shouldn’t have heard. There was no need to give him the benefit of the doubt that he hadn’t listened earlier. He had ears and eyes everywhere, that much you realized. This hideout was his web, and you were the trapped butterfly that struggled to escape. The rest of the Spiders followed, each displaying either curious or cold expressions.

 Oh, great. They were all here now. Guess you could kiss your freedom goodbye, then.

 Feitan stole a glance over his shoulder, still twirling the once harmless tool. You wondered if it was possible to beg him to kill you right this instant, on this spot so you didn’t have to deal with Chrollo.

 “[Name]-san tried to kill herself, but we managed to step in,” Phinks explained on his behalf. “She was just seconds away from stabbing her wrist.”

 “‘Experimenting’, she said.” Feitan piped up, mockery laced his deep voice.

 Out of the others, he was probably the only one who liked you the least. Machi came in second, but she’d learned to accept you over the time. However, she still harbored a slight suspicion that you’d escape one day and report them to the Hunters.

 Yeah, like you could freely waltz out of this hideout without having to fight a gang of highly skilled thieves.

 As for Feitan, he just plain disliked you; mostly because he thought that you were a burden for them. A dead weight, he’d said. You didn’t even feel the slightest bit offended. Why should you be offended when you’d already accepted the truth? Other than that, he never harmed you. Aside from some sarcastic comments that would've deeply wounded your soul had you didn’t acknowledge your flaws, of course.

 Honestly, you could care less about their feelings. It wasn’t as though you were fond of them, either. If given the chance, you would gladly be homeless than living with them. Sure, they had a close relationship with each other to the point where they could be considered a family, but you weren’t a thief like them. You didn’t share the same drive, greed, and loyalty. In fact, you’d felt like you were intruding on their lives the first time Chrollo ‘introduced’ you to them.

 Shalnark whistled and smiled a bit too happy for someone who had listened to the story of a young suicidal lady. This was probably something ordinary for him. “My… You’re brave, [Name]-chan! Seems like the shackles didn’t do their job correctly, huh?”

 “Really…?” Chrollo ignored Shalnark’s snide remark and peered towards your direction. His expression was still calm and composed as always. “Is that true, [Name]?”

 You ducked your head from his gentle yet intimidating stare, swallowing the thick saliva on your throat. It didn’t matter if the others were watching you right now; none of them could come close to the intensity of his scrutiny.

 “I…” Should you stay quiet? Should you lie again? But Feitan and Phinks already knew the truth, anyway. And besides, Pakunoda was here too. It would be impossible to come up with a plausible excuse. “… Yes.”

 In the end, you could never hide anything from him.

 Chrollo smiled and nodded in understanding. Of course, he understood. He was the reason behind your near-suicide. He wasn’t delusional. He probably had thought about this before. You were stubborn, and he knew that you’d rather die than submit to him.

 That bastard.

 “I see…” Chrollo closed his eyes, that cold smile remained. “Well, everyone, you can take a rest now. I’m sure you’re tired from that mission earlier. [Name] and I need to discuss something in private.” He opened his eyes and held out a hand, his smile softened slightly. “Shall we go to our room, [Name]?”

 A single tear dripped from your left eye as you put your hand on his. Chrollo intertwined your fingers together and gently tugged you towards your shared room. Even if you were to turn around and beg for the Spiders to help, you knew that they were more obedient to him.

 Not you.

 Because you were merely his lover. Your safety wasn’t and would never be their top priority unless stated otherwise. And Chrollo was strong, anyway. He could either protect or harm you more than you could bear. More than you could stand. 

 You were alone. Utterly, hopelessly, and helplessly alone.